Hi to all in the "What Now" forum. I'm not a very frequent poster here at "DB". I did have a post over in "beginners", and recieved great advice and encouragement, but that thread seems to have run its course. After 8 months of seperation I feel I've graduated to What Now? Having not seen or heard from my family in over 2 months, the only communication being letters from W's lawyer to mine, I'm at the point now where the "Situation Hopeless" that I find myself in suggests that it's time to admit to myself that this sitch can not be resolved. However, not wanting to accept defeat, because I still believe that the M could be stronger if we could overcome this sitch and begin communicating, I was hoping someone has been where I am today and offer a little hope. Any honest feedback, even if that means a 2x4 upside my head, would be appreciated. Txs Al.
Do what is right for you, either way you might not be able to change the outcome. You will though know you did everything you could and hold your head up high. I think my case is hopeless but I will continue to DB till the very end either way. I am just a gluten for emotional pain I think.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
Communication mat be your only hope at this point. Communication gives us hope so try to open it any way possible even if it means to agree with her 100%. Talk about anything but the sitch. Keep faith. These sitches may last a while so be patient.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
Thanks for the responses. I'm at a place right now that I just don't know what to do! My mind tells me to keep fighting, keep the hope alive, but my heart says this is something that she just dosen't want. I continue to GAL and try for the most part to keep a PMA, some days I feel so much sadness for the loss of what our lives could have been. With suggested techniques being give her space and let her go, how do I get her to look at me so that maybe we can talk and begin to work through this? I think it has to be her choice, and after 8 months her choice seems obvious. AAAARRRRRR!!!
I am in the same place. It is a roller coaster. I keep the book out now in plain view. Just knowing it exists makes me feel better. It reminds me that a lot of this could be temporary and that many couples have gone through it and we can learn from their successses and setbacks. Why doesn't she look at you? Is she still attracted to you?
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
Being pretty much out of hope I'm going to follow your lead mkultra and re-read DR, hopefully it will refresh my commitment to keep fighting this thing. To answer your question I don't really know how she feels about me. There are no reasons for us to see or communicate with each other. I've asked her previously to allow me to see my beloved dog, but having been told that she no longer loves me nor sees a future with me, my feelings are the last of her concerns. What Now?, What Now?, What Now?.
I'm not D's bio father although I'm the only father shes' ever known. She's almost 17 now so this is probably not a good time to have her life disrupted this way. Safe to say I think she's probably hating me right about now. Because of where they are, it will have have to be her choice if she wishes to contact me. The last time I saw her I tried to appologize for causing this disruption, told her that I loved her and will always be her dad. She has a B'day coming up so I'll send her a card just to let her know that I'm still here for her and always will be. I love all my girls and if there was a way that I could influence the outcome I would trade all I have for it.
