Hi Larry - just checking in, you sound good. Looking forward to hearing how the coaching goes.
Hey if you want a shortcut for putting in a link, you can also click "Reply" on a post (instead of just using the "quick reply" box). Then you'll get a whole menu of choices, one of which is an insert link function. You just click on it and it'll prompt you for the URL and then for the text you want to appear.
Nomo's way will let you add it to your auto signature too though - if you go to "My Stuff" then "My Profile" you can put it in there.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
Tnx Nikki - My coaching went well. Vernetta knows her stuff! She said that I have to always keep in mind that I'm dealing with a drug addict here (W in her A) and proceed accordingly. She did say that everything I've done so far sounds very good and to keep doing it.
Re the drug addict metaphor, W's grandmother died yesterday (long expected) and her mother and aunts arranged the funeral for Monday to accommodate family coming from out of state, etc. Her mother called me first so I told her I would change my plans for Seaworld and bring our kids to the funeral. All of this really pissed W off because that's half of her planned romantic weekend with OM, and also she wasn't in on the decision re the kids. I told her calmly that it was my day to have the kids so it was my decision. She backed off, but she did say "I don't know why I should go to this funeral. Nana never did much for me when she was alive." I swear, an alien really has taken over her body. People in affairs are the most selfish, self-centered, self-absorbed entities in the universe. Their "taker" side has taken over their entire being and they will step on anyone to get what they want.
She also called her mother to let her have it about the scheduling. Anyway the point of all this is that it's dangerous to get between an addict and her drug.
Enough venting for now.
L
M 63 W 40 M 4/91 S14/D9 bomb 7/6/07 D filed 8/3/07 final 2/4/08 thread
Hi Mandy - Thanks for checking in. I think the only intervention is time, and opportunity for the affair participants to really get to know each other. That's when reality sets in and the drug high starts to wear off, and that's why I'm accommodating her dalliances by taking the kids (plus I really love my kids). The trouble with the time remedy though, is the LBS has to absorb LOTS of pain.
I know the pain of the WAS (WAH in my case) you have talked about well. Mine is not an addict, MLC I guess. I've just been devisated for 2 years now and tired. Nothing I can do at this point. If I could just let him go I would. But I need to stand up for myself financially because he's damaged my future as it looks now, and I did nothing to deserve that.
It so great to see you just being there for your kids. And keeping on keeping on! I'm so sorry you have this pain. But I thank you for your posts and the others, it has helped me keep on going today.
The W has reached a new low. Today, she arranged for our babysitter to take both kids to a nearby museum for a special tour. Guess who the tour guide was? You got it, the museum CEO, otherwise known as the OM. This is less than three weeks after we separated. I could call her on it and demand that she stop this kind of sh**, but it wouldn't do any good. She would just be defiant and redouble her efforts. Besides, you can forbid but you can't prevent. Anyway, she has lost all sense of decency.
Oh well, my son will soon figure out what the real situation is (not from me). Then the manure will hit the propeller.
I am getting to the point that I don't want to be married to this person anymore. It feels like I should concentrate more on detaching and GAL while putting all reconciliation goals aside...
Last edited by LarryL; 08/02/0707:05 PM.
M 63 W 40 M 4/91 S14/D9 bomb 7/6/07 D filed 8/3/07 final 2/4/08 thread
