Hi Guys - I cant handle this anymore. My wife's new business is killing me. Her business account went negative by $400 last week and she just transfered more money over from our equity line on our house that were trying to sell. She transfered $3000 more like its monopoly money. The balance is now up to $12,500. She says to me "you knew is was going to happen when we started this business" I replied "yeah, that was when it was our business now your saying its just yours".
Next, she is just using me whenever she needs me to watch our daughter. She has a big business fair coming up in couple weeks which she says that she has to work everyday from 10am to 10pm including the weekend. I am just supposed to be available whenever she needs me to watch our daughter. I told her we need to come up with a set schedule that is fair for both of us. She says that she cant right now because of her business. Who gives a "flying F" about your business - focus on your family for once.
Last thing that pissed me off this weekend. Her family is coming to town this next week to celebrate her uncle being a christian brother for 25 yrs. She asked me if I can go stay at a friends house for both Thurs and Fri because she needs the beds and also because its too uncomfortable for them to see me right now. I have known these people for 11yrs and she doesnt want them to see me. I told her that "it is really hurtful that you wont let me see your family at all while their going to be in town next week". She said maybe later after everything is over (D?) and that I need to find my own way to mourn and grieve. She is such a selfish B lately. I dont know what to do anymore. Her stupid job is more important then her D and H. I think filing for S will let her know that I have excepted her feelings. After 5mons she is still saying Im sorry you deserve to be happy. I just cant do this anymore.
So I guess were done. She has not changed her tune at all. I have been Dbing my heart out. 180s. Being nice. helpful. She still is not willing to even reconsider at all. I dont know what to do anymore. I just want our house to sell so we can get our own seperate places. It hurts too much to be around her. She doesnt care about what this is doing to our daughters future. I just dont know what to do anymore??? Should I file for S to seperate our finances? This is now her business. Why should I help her with her business? When we started it 7 mons ago it was our business but now she has made it clear that its all about her. UGH!!!
Yeah Jazz this sucks. I have the textbook WAW. She acted like everything was going fine and then BAM! drop the bomb and keep on going. No 2nd chances No maybe we can talk about this nothing. Plus she doesnt have time for our daughter anymore because of her business. Some day she will figure out her priorities and I wont be there.
H-36 W-38 Married 14yrs Together 17 2 Children (D12, S15) 9/20/05 - Seperated 4/23/07 - Dbomb dropped 4/25/07 - I Love you, not in love "If it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for."
Under no circumstances should you agree to vacate your home, not even temporarily. If your in-laws are not comfortable seeing you, then they can get a hotel. If they can't afford a hotel, they can stay home.
WAW's with kids are always trying to convince the H to move out. Why? Because they can't abandon their children, and they can't take them with them without a custody hearing. If you move out you are at a disadvantage regarding custody and keeping the house.
You can do a lot to separate finances without filing. Simply move your money out of joint accounts, and cancel any joint credit cards. As for the home equity line of credit, see if they will cap it.
If you do file, one of the first things your L should do is get a restraining order, preventing either of you from incurring new joint debt and from liquidating property.
As far as the credit cards, my understanding was that it did not matter whose name the account was under, if the bill was racked up during marriage it was both parties responsibility.
I know about the wanting to file and throwing in the towel. I have felt like I have put up with a lot as well and can understand your situation. I guess my feeling is though, that I think she should have to do the dirty work as it concerns filing because this is her desire and I have read somewhere that if they do not file it relieves them of some of the guilt. Anyway, best of luck whatever you may choose.
Me: 48 Ex-W: 45 M: Nov '96, together since Oct 93 Bomb: on 10-yr anni - Nov '06 OM Separated: mid-Feb '07 Divorced mid-July '08 One daughter - 28 XW living w/OM
by all means file the formal sep. i just did because i have alot of business interest, i wish i did it right away. the first year of business is the hardest and she is liable to suck away ur equity even more. the hell with all the WAS they dont care about us the hell with them. it is time we had more repect for our selves. f them is where i am at.
