I was married for 3 years and then separated for 2.5 years. I spent the first year of separation blaming everyone around me, blaming my wife, blaming my parents, her parents, God. It did me no good - I became fat, depressed, was failing.
After six months I met an amazing shrink (I've since realized most shrinks are a real waste of time). A good shrink costs a crazy amount of mine and doesn't need more than 4 sessions to help you. If a shrink doesn't improve your life in a few sessions, find another one. Or better yet avoid shrinks. Really ! If you took your computer to be fixed and the repair guy kept charging you $200 to look at it in more detail - would you keep going back !!! No ! This shrink told me not to waste time on the cheap ones or the ones who like to analyze your past endlessly and charge you endless amounts of money.
So that was the starting point - I realized I had been highly critical of my wife and so my first step was to fix that problem.
I then decided I would spend my "alone" time making my life great - Iread every book I could - I spent $20 a month reading a new slef-help book. Initially none of it made sense but slowly I started to improve.
First I lost all the extra pounds - people actually started to call me handsome nad compliment me ! Then I started to do great at work. I started Yog, meditation and an amazing thing called Sudarshan Kriya from a group called Art of Living (Google it - you'll find it). That gave me lot of mental peace and clarity.
My work life took of like a rocket. My salary doubled in a year. But my wife was still refusing to meet me. She would scream at me if I tried to call her, slam down the phone. She started filing for divorce, I lost hair with the tension.
But I kept my faith in God, and besides I was confident that no matter what the outcome, I would be ok.
I read Michelle's books and the forums but sadly didn't put most of it in practice. In particular I didn't believe other comments about the "roller-coaster" ride. Finally I broke through after 2.5 years. My wife and her parents and my parents noticed I had changed - she is so different - she actually admitted se made many mistake.s She now wants to meet me every day. I'm still not sure if we'll get back but things are much more positive. Atleast we are friends.
Please people, remember there's always hope - work on yourself first, not on anyone else. You can't forcibly change a person but you can be an instrument for that change by becoming a new person yourself. Life is precious. I know I was depressed and felt life was not worth living. Yes I've lost time, money, my youth. But there's a lot of time left - always - so never give up. Don't be stupid - I did date other women - I htink that was important - don't wait for your WAW but don't give up either - most of all work on yourself so you'll be proud of who you become regardless of the outcome.
I'd love to hear from any of you. I plan to start a blog to write in detail how I got out my sink hole to succeed.
How does dating help? Is it part of GAL? I did not enjoy dating that much but I love going out with friends and dining. Does that count or does it have to have romantic undertones?
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
