I have been asked to move out. Claims she needs "space" after recent communication difficulties. Just being in the same house is upsetting to her, especially when the migranes hit. I don't think the stats are good for recovery once separation happens. Anyone know such stats? Separate bedrooms already, but doesn't seem to be enough. It's not looking good . . .
I have asked my H four times to move out. Each time he refused saying it would have to be me. The last time I/we were so fed up and he finally did. I really regret it because the physical separation moves couples towards divorce. That is really not what I wanted. I wanted a more kind and centered and present husband. Now that he has moved out I realize how nothing that I really wanted can be achieved from a separation. I hope you both can realize that a separation is a huge mistake if the desired outcome is a better relationship.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
Can you post some details about your situation? If you do it'll help the rest of us understand it better and be able to help you.
Separation isn't a bad thing, in fact it can be a very good thing because it gives you both the time and space to think without the pressure or pain associated with the situation. Oh I can tell you it sucks big time but it can also be a very positive time too.
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
I agree, do you have anything more? Is she asking for changes and have you done any of these? Are you seeing a MC?
My W and I have been living in separate bedrooms for about 2-3 mos. She says she wants to separate but hasn't done anything yet. I want to work things out. She wants to be a WAW I think. Don't think there's OM but she is just angry that I never responded to her needs to improve our relationship but have done a 180 the last 2-3 mos. But I'm reaching the breaking point -- either come work with me on this relationship or move out. But maybe I shouldn't put this ultimatum on her. What do you think?
Not if you want to stay married. You need to realize this only gets better on her timeframe. You need to GAL, work on yourself, have no expectations, read this. Still most of us will not be successful (I'm packing to move out forever this week). Read books, get counseling, find a support group, figure out what you did wrong so you don't do it wrong next time, and if you're so inclined, pray.
I married someone who still claims she never loved me and who does not have the capacity to imagine any life with me beyond what it was three years ago. You might be more fortunate.
built4speed My Saga "How others deal with the gifts you've given is not your decision, but theirs." - Richard Bach
Thanks so much for that link. It was incredible. I'm hoping if I do things right she will have a change of heart. Take care and good luck. Thanks again.
The question of moving out and what affect it has on your chances of reconciliation has a lot to do with the circumstances of the disconnect.
If your constantly at each other's throat or she's always stressed around you, it's not conducive to reconciliation. Sometimes you have to take a step back. Your not going to win her back by getting on her nerves and her behavior may even dampen your desire to reconcile.
It really depends on your situation in my opinion. Some on here live with their S, but are sleeping in different rooms/beds. Loosing that physical connection isn't necessarily a reason to split if everything else is amicable. But even under these circumstances you both will need to be willing to see professional help to resolve your impasse. Otherwise, the tension will continue to build until you have no choice but to separate.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
