So what I think I am saying is that she probably is enjoying herself when the 3 of you are together, and then when the day/evening is about to be over she does get "cold", she could just be realizing what she is missing. Just let her have her time and space, enjoy the time together but don't worry about how she acts, especially if it is that way only at the end of spending time together, enjoy the time she is happy.
That is kind of the way I view it also. I am not letting it bother me to much, I just kind of let it slide and instead think of the great couple of hours we just spent together, not the 30 seconds of her being cold. I am just trying to understand it a bit. That's all.
I am doing just as you suggested and giving her her space. I usually call her on Sat & Sun to talk to son (also an excuse to talk to her) and I did not call her yesterday and do not plan on calling her today.
“Do you want to be RIGHT or want to be LOVED” “You have to have a life to share a life with someone” “When you stop resisting, you start learning”
Just meet my wife to pick up my son from his weekend with her. We had no contact for the entire time. I usually call to see how they are. We meet in a parking lot near the freeway exit. She was pleasant. We made a little bit of humorous small talk and then I directed all my attention and comments to our S, just to see how she would react. At first she continued with a little bit of humor with me, but when she saw that I was not responding to it she looked puzzled. I continued to talk to our S and put him in & buckle him up in to my car all the time asking him about his weekend. She meanwhile was sitting in her car with her door open, as if waiting for something or maybe not. I walked around to my side of the car and told her, "OK thank you, good bye." She once again looked puzzled. We then both drove off.
I am not 100% sure what my motives were for what I did. Maybe, I was hurt that she or S. Did not call me. I guess I kind of wanted to see what kind of reaction I could get if I was not focusing all my attention on her like I usually do when we meet.
“Do you want to be RIGHT or want to be LOVED” “You have to have a life to share a life with someone” “When you stop resisting, you start learning”
Picked finalized divorce papers from the court house today. Oddly, I don't really have any feelings about them. I guess, why should I. I knew sadly enough they would be in my hands soon after we turned then in to be filed last month.
“Do you want to be RIGHT or want to be LOVED” “You have to have a life to share a life with someone” “When you stop resisting, you start learning”
I think maybe you're in shock - they will come- the feelings. Stay busy and find something to do with friends or at least go to a public place so you don't feel alone. I went on my date w/H - I'm so confused, I still don't know where we really are. We had a great time - but what now? Hang in there - this stuff is so hard! Still no papers - joint accouts are still open - it's crazy - maybe there is hope. I keep praying! Blessings!
Last edited by tk180days; 08/27/0710:21 PM.
Both - 38 Step D -16 Together 4+, Married 3(in Sept), friends 7 S Bomb - April 07
"He who pursues righteousness and love finds life,prosperity and honor."
Nah, I'm not in shock about the D being finalized. I already ran the gantlet of feelings with it the day we attended the mandatory parenting and divorce classes.
You, ain't kidding this stuff is hard. For me it is right up there with the 3 weeks me and my family spent watching our dad die in the ICU unit from cancer and the months that followed his passing.
I like you am very confused also about my S. I am learing to try not to read to much into her words and actions and especially not to over analyze them.
“Do you want to be RIGHT or want to be LOVED” “You have to have a life to share a life with someone” “When you stop resisting, you start learning”
Funny thing is. We are not only on a roller coaster ride that our WAS are running. But, we are on our own roller coaster ride with our own thoughts, emotions, actions and words. At times I am not sure which ride is worse. Theirs or ours. Or maybe theirs is not so bad. It is just us making it seem bad, when in fact it is our ride that we create that makes us nauseas??? Things that make you go hmmmmmmmmm!
“Do you want to be RIGHT or want to be LOVED” “You have to have a life to share a life with someone” “When you stop resisting, you start learning”
