This short article appeared in yesterday's Boston Globe Magazine. The subtitle is "What one pro tells parents who are too tired, too grumpy, or too busy."
The therapist has written several books, one of which looks very interesting: Sex Smart: How Your Childhood Shaped Your Sexuality and What To Do About It.
Glad it wasn't just me! Cemar needs to read that and give his wife a break -- it's not just her.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
I thought the article was way too simplified. I think CeMar does do a lot of work around the house... I don't see CeMar as the problem in his M when it comes to the 'running' of things, frankly. I think it is his W. CeMar just doesn't know how to effectively address it.
I thought it was too, especially coming from an expert, and I was just kind of saying that about CeMar tongue in cheek. Just so he knows that there are lots of W's out there not real interested in S, but it can be for so many different reasons!!
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
Well, like I said, I appreciate you showing that it's a world-wide issue, not just lil' ol' me But I'm working on it.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
Exactly. It's a common problem. Knowing that it's a common problem might get women thinking about the problem and then encourage them to look more deeply at the issues. I'm sure it's common for LD women to think there's something wrong with them, when in reality there is something wrong with their marriage.
And hey, it was PR for the therapist and her books, one of which I'll likely buy. But, I suppose the article was targeted more at the masses, and not at highly knowledgeable folks like those that post here.
I think a HUGE part of the problem is the fact that life doesn't slow down enough to sit down and think about much of anything, let alone why you don't necessarily care if you have sex w/ your H or not. After awhile, it's just second nature, or at least that's how it was for me. I didn't sit there and try to figure out the how's & why's of our missing sex life and if H doesn't speak up every now & again to get that thinking going, it just isn't going to happen. There's so much other cr*p going on and, for me anyway, after I haven't had it for awhile, I don't necessarily *miss* it much.
Now, I want it all the time. Maybe that's what happened to Chrome's W. She figured it out, now realizes how much she actually enjoys it and all that comes w/ it and now she just can't get enough.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
When I was loafing around my mom's house the other week, Oprah ran a show on moms who had lost their "spark" and needed to find it again, and some who had found it again and how they did it. I think there were makeovers involved. One of the moms put a stripper pole in her bedroom.
Anyway, about halfway through, my mom suggested that we change the channel because the kids were around and they shouldn't be exposed to the notion that letting life overwhelm you and neglecting your sex life while married is a bad idea. Right then W piped up "It's a rerun, I saw this one already".
I asked her "Did it come on about a year ago?"
Her: "Yeah, I think so. Why?" Me: "Oh, just wondering ."
Last edited by Crazy Eddie; 07/09/0705:24 PM.
a fine and enviable madness, this delusion that all questions have answers, and nothing is beyond the reach of a strong left arm.
I don't think that the real truth is that you are so busy that you don't think about sex. HD women are JUST as busy, and they STILL think about sex frequently, so it is not the busy life that causes this.
But I'm working on it.