Went out last night to a friends house and had a fantastic time. There was a few of us there and were laughing the whole night, had a few to drink but actually feel ok this morning.
Once again i seem to have been able to pick myself up, this morning i am at the point where i am back to thinking that D3 and i are going to be just fine . The divorce will be final in about 5-6 months and at present i cannot see that it will be stopped.
I have been thinking the last couple of days that i want to update my Degree because i have never used it. I think i am going to start looking into it, something for me . I will phone the University next week and find out what my options are.
Nicky
Me 34 H 33 D3 together 10 years married 2 years Bomb 22/8/06 (I feel empty) OW involved
Great idea with the University. I am 51, have enough degrees to paper a wall and yet, I still am going back for another which is apropos to my latest field of endeavor.
It's all about you, nicky (and your D, of course).
Had a good day, the weather has been really nice so managed to get the garden done. Husband dropped D3 off earlier and once again she was really tired because she did not go to bed til late. Lately when my husband has had D3 on the weekends he has just been taking her to the local club so he can have a drink, this has been going on for the last couple of months. So after thinking long and hard about it i have decided that i will keep D3 here with me every other weekend so we can do fun stuff, like swimming, going to the park etc, things that 3 year olds should be doing. Also my other reason for doing this is because at present with work and husband having her every weekend i do not get to spend one full day with D3.
Anyway i just spoke to my husband about this and to be honest he did not seem too bothered, he was ok with it. However he did say that he wanted to give it a trial period. I suppose this will mean that my husband and OW will get more alone time together but it is not about that anymore, i need to do what is right for D3 and i.
Hope everyone is ok
Nicky
Last edited by nickyf; 07/08/0707:02 PM.
Me 34 H 33 D3 together 10 years married 2 years Bomb 22/8/06 (I feel empty) OW involved
Lately when my husband has had D3 on the weekends he has just been taking her to the local club so he can have a drink, this has been going on for the last couple of months.
Am I reading this right? Your H is taking your 3 year old daughter out drinking with him? He is not driving after drinking with her in the car, is he?
I am trying not to judge but I would think he could either get a sitter or wait to go to clubs with her until he doesn't have her with him.
I hope I have not overstepped here but I just wonder what is wrong with some of these MLCers.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
Yes my husband has been taking D3 to the club with him, OW and her S4, i think my husband only has the one pint and then drinks coke. The problem i have is that my husband has stopped doing the fun things with D3 that he use to do. He use to take her to the park and took her swimming every weekend but now he seems to have got into the OW's lifestyle which obviously isn't very child orientated, even though she has a young son herself. I want my D3 to look back at her childhood and remeber all the exciting things she has done, i don't want that memory to be sitting in a club. My D3 needs to be in the fresh air, running around, riding her bike etc. I do want to point out though that my husband is still a good dad, he just seems to have lost focus on the important things in life.
I am suprised that my husband has got into this lifestyle because his childhood memories are of a dad who left for another woman and his mum going to the club most days getting drunk. It is almost like he is repeating his parents lifestyle. However i will not allow for D3 to be affected like my husband has been. If my husband were able to just stop and think about all of this rationally, he would realise that the life he has chosen is by no means any comparison to the life he had, he is now in debt, lives in OW's house instead of the home that we made together, Living with a woman that intentionally hurt his D3 by taking her daddy away and now bringing up OW's child instead of his own. I know that my husband thinks he is thinking perfectly rationally but in time he will regret it.
Today the weather is really nice so i am hoping to do something with D3 when she has finished Nursery. I want to go and get some new fish for the fish tank, so maybe we will do that. D3 loves going there because they have rabbits and Guinea pigs etc for her to look at .
Hope everyone is ok
Nicky
Me 34 H 33 D3 together 10 years married 2 years Bomb 22/8/06 (I feel empty) OW involved
You are so generous with your H. I don't doubt that he is still a reasonably good father but it just gets me that they are so self-centered and different than they were.
Good luck to you. You are a good parent and you are making up for the lack of fun with your H. Your D3 is lucky to have such a wonderful mother.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
Just got back from the gym, only second time going and now i am sooooo tired , did not realise how unfit i was lol. I must admit i feel better for it already, something for me .
Husband usually phones to speak to D3 twice a day, in the morning and at night and comes to visit at the house on a wed night for an hour as well as having her at the weekend. well, over the past eleven months seeing him so much has stopped me from detaching, so i text him today saying:
"Considering the fact that we are now getting divorced, i feel that i have to do what is emotionally best for everyone in order for D3 and i to move forward, so i am asking you to please only phone D3 once a day at tea time. I am willing to keep the wed night visit for now but i will have to see how it goes. I hope you understand my reasons for doing this".
My husband never replied to this message and when he phone to speak to D3 he never mentioned it at all. I know he got it because i have a thing on my phone that tells me if the message has been recieved or not. I am just trying to get myself emotionally healthy because D3 deserves that from me. I will see if my husband phones in the morning or not. I just found it strange that he did not make any comment.
Hope everyone is ok
Nicky
Me 34 H 33 D3 together 10 years married 2 years Bomb 22/8/06 (I feel empty) OW involved
GOOD FOR YOU !!!! Like me, you've started setting boundaries!!! This is the only way we can move along and the only way these men will see the consequences of their actions !!!
Well done sweety !!! xxxx
Have a good night ! I'm off to bed xxx
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
but actually feel ok this morning.
. The divorce will be final in about 5-6 months and at present i cannot see that it will be stopped.
