As I said in my last thread I won't have a thread unless something significant happens, well it happened tonight.
W comes to see the kids and walks into my backyard. She stands and stares at me with the saddest eyes I have seen her with for years. Uh oh I think, somethings coming down the pipe. I continue working in my garage and she continues to stare, this goes on for about 5 min or so. Well I kept busy and ignored her except for a smile, she came half way to my garage and requested a talk with me and the kids.
My mind was racing, I thought, she wants to come back, she's moving away, she is going to apologize, stuff like that. she begins by saying "I don't know how to say this" which caused me to think of how to tell her she can't come back.
I got one of the biggest bombs dropped on me tonight, thank god for PMA because I would have lost it otherwise.
She says "I've found out why I've been so sick lately" I look at her figuring she may have a serious disease. She says "I'm pregnant"
well I validated that one right into the toilet, I said "I'm happy for you" She says "I'm not". She proceeded to tell the kids and I started to think and the more I thought the madder I got but I kept it to myself, this is just one more thing that is gonna make my kids suffer, W spends very little time with the kids as it is, when the baby arrives in Jan her time with the kids is gonna drop to zero I'm sure.
Well they say it takes a crisis to end MLC I guess this should do the trick. She will be 39 when the baby is born and 58 when that kid leaves home, funny that she ran right into what she was running from. Anyone care to start a pool as to the date that the 24 year old OM is gonna bail on her.
If there was ever a snowballs chance in hell that I would take her back it's gone, there is no way I would be willing to inherit that mess and tie myself up with a baby at 40.
I guess the only good to come of this is that GF will feel more secure when I tell her that I won't take W back
Holy crap man! I've been sitting her for 10 minutes thinking of the ramifications of this. None of which are good. Your W hasn't run in to a brick wall, she has crashed through the brick wall and run off a cliff.
Unbelievable. I feel for you and your family.
You are totally right about the OM. If he is only 24 he'll be out of there within a couple of months. That will leave you W in a downward spiralling mess. If it does take a crisis to wake them up, don't be surprised if as soon as OM is outta there, she is running back to you. I'm afraid you have some hard choices ahead.
Unbelievable.
Last edited by Imageer; 07/06/0701:22 AM.
M35 W37 S9 D6 M12 yrs Know 15 yrs Bomb 1/28/07 My Sitch Failure is the opportunity to start again more intelligently - Henry Ford
1. Get secret cell phone 2. Get secret checking account 3. Destroy H to gain freedom 4. Get script for birth control 5. Get peircings, tattoos, new clothes, maybe a Harley 6. Party like a rock star .... holy crap, forgot number 4!!!
My husband's first wife did exactly this. She had, what I now suspect was an MLC in her late 30s, leaving H with 3 children 5, 7 and 11. She moved in with OM who was in his late 20s and really had/has some issues (mental health very so so). She got pregnant within a year or so and had the baby, limiting her availability to the other three who basically lived permanently with their dad.
Nearly 20 yrs later and lots of insecurity still between kids and mum. The child is now in her mid/late teens and has some big issues too, which I can only think comes from the drama within which she spent the first years of her life.
XW and OM are still together, but she admitted to me once that leaving H and having another child was the most stupid thing she has done in her life and she will have to live with the 'punishment' for the rest of her life.
It's actually a very very sad story.
V
Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.
Babies are beautiful and innocent. I am 42 and always wanted another child but H ran out to get snipped. I would gladly "tie myself up with a baby".
Please try to look at this from the point of view of that poor child. You could be a wonderful father to him/her if you wanted to do that. You may think this is a tragedy for your other children but it is not. Children that age love babies and this could enrich their lives. They will have another sibling.
I can only imagine how much this hurts you, but please consider keeping an open mind on this.
Me45 H45 D13 S10 together-23 years married-21 years MLC Divorced 10/3/07 Married to a wonderful new man.
Babies are beautiful and innocent. I am 42 and always wanted another child but H ran out to get snipped. I would gladly "tie myself up with a baby".
Please try to look at this from the point of view of that poor child. You could be a wonderful father to him/her if you wanted to do that. You may think this is a tragedy for your other children but it is not. Children that age love babies and this could enrich their lives. They will have another sibling.
I can only imagine how much this hurts you, but please consider keeping an open mind on this.
Actually I am not hurting, I am pretty angry for what my kids will have to endure but I feel nothing for W. I do feel sorry for that baby as the poor thing is going to have a tough life I'm sure, I guess there is a razor slim chance that OM will stick around but I think we all know what's gonna happen sooner or later.
It's tough to wrap my mind around this and the thought of my kids having a half brother or sister is sickening. I just kinda had a flash and it wasn't a good one, I guess I get to hear that baby cry when she brings it around, that bothers me as well. I guess the kids will probably accept the baby and will welcome it but I sure won't.
I gave up on her a few months ago, I GAL and also a GF, W is not welcome back, as far as I WAS concerned I was done and moving forward, this pregnancy just cements that way of thinking.
I guess I should call her STBXW because I'll be turning my LS into a D in the next few days.
