Wanted to find out what you thought of the book "Stop Your Divorce". I had a chance to use the "Agree w/ everything " technique and it worked great! I called my W after I learned she had a little car accident(I'm an Allstate Agent) to discuss the accident. She was very nice and we even talked about us. I told her I am happy w/ things as they are and ready to move on. I did tell her that I still think she is attractive(what the OM tells her) and listened to her complain about work(which I never used to).
She still seems committed to D, and mentioned that she wld serve me next week. Don't know if she's serious or not. She said she liked talking on the phone, just not in person w/ me. She mentioned we always end up arguing at the end of a call so while on a happy note I told her" Well, since were on a happy note I'll say goodbye now, Goodbye" and She said goodbye too.
This was the first nice talk we've had in about 8months! the first time she's treated me like a human being in 3 months! With all my GAL and Agree w/ everything I began to have those old feelings for her and broke down. I still have a little hope(5%) that we can fix this. Tomorrow I have a "Date" w/ a female client that is also just Divorced. I hope nothing happens, but it will be nice to feel appreciated if only for a few hours.
Wish me luck as I attend "Happy Hour" for the first time in months w/ a woman.
ME: 39 ring on wife:38 ring off WAW/MLC son:17,11 dtr:9 mar:17yr Bomb4-27-07. EA/PA 2/07 with 22yr old. DBing 5-19-07 My story on the link below. http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1069470&page=0#Post1069470
I've got to share something that I witnessed when I went to visit my friend the other night at their brother's house. Let me give you a little background on the brother. He was a WAH who left his W and two teenage daughters for OW. This has been over a year ago. They got a divorce and he is now living with OW. I was a little hesitant going over to their house, knowing that they put someone through the pain I went through, but I hadn't seen this friend in a while and she was visiting from out of town.
Well, the whole time I was there the WAH was on the phone yelling at his daughter. He had taken her car away from her because she never comes to visit him. He was in another part of the yard, but we could still hear him yelling. The OW was talking about his daughters and how he spoiled them, etc. and it was about time he did something to them. When he got back he started fussing about how ungrateful they both were. He said he told D that he wasn't going to talk to her about this on the phone they would have a face to face convo on Friday. He said he told her he would whip if he had to. She told him I'm 17 you can't do that, he said yes I can. He then had the nerve to talk about his Ex W and how she is always over her boyfriend's house and not watching out for the girl. He referred to her as their da*n momma. Amazing that he doesn't see this wouldn't be happened if he hadn't found a girlfriend while still married to their mother! I'm sure the girls don't care to be around the woman that played a big role in the breakup of their parent's marriage. Yes, ultimately it was their father's decision, but it's hard for children to see this. This whole time my friend is looking at me. She could tell this was upsetting me and said let's go in the house. I said no, I really need to go. Well, luckily my youngest DD called and said she was home from church youth group and wanted me to bring her something to eat.
I know this is long, but it made me so sad to see how torn apart this family was because their husband/father chose OW over his family. Sad isn't it?
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Exactly, if he keeps this up, I don't see much of a relationship with his daughters in the future. WAS won't admit that what they did was wrong. My friend told me that her brother's ex-wife was very nice and she held on as long as she could trying to salvage her marriage, like many of us on here. After about 10 months she decided it was time to move on with her life. My friend said that her brother was cake eating at the beginning of the separation. I don't know how long it went on. So as you can see the daughters saw that their mother did everything she could to save the marriage and the dad went to the OW.
Oh, did I mention I will not be going back to visit my friend at that house?!!!
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Someday the girls will be adults, and maybe then they will be able to explain to their Dad how they felt about what he did. But the way it is now, with him threatening to beat them into obedience, that's terrible. You would think that someone could explain to him what is going on. But it doesn't seem to work that way. He would just reject the truth anyway.
Yes, you are right about them rejecting the truth. From the way the OW was talking, I'm sure she has encouraged him before he needs to stand up to girls and let them "treat" him like that. It's so hard to believe he would not see how badly he has hurt his girls. It's hard enough for them to go through this, but then for their dad to act like a child and threaten them instead of trying to get to the root of the problem.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Wow. I'm so sorry for those girls, and their mother, and that you had to witness such selfishness Yoyo. Funny how he and she are blind to the consequences of their actions.
