In the Midlife Crisis the man needs to be reassured that he's loved -- but he had an affair-- soooo - my question is, since he's going through that do I remind him he's loved? OR since he had the affair, the other info tells me to pull back, not to do that. I could deal with the midlife and depression, the affair is of course much harder to deal with. He's a truck driver so he's not home, and only calls once in a while. I can tell he's depresses, guilty and hurting...me too.
H is OTR driver - 48 Me 49 married 24yrs 2 sons, 22/20 H going thru MLC
I think actions speak louder than words. If he is around you, and you are consistant in your behavior, that this is a loving home, you are kind, not provoking an argument, kind words, then he will know.
I have heard of people (myself included) who, at times, let their H's know that the door is always open.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Is the A over. You said he had an affair. If so then I think being there for him and let him open up to you in his own time. Just because the A is over it does not mean his mlc is.
If the A is still going on then I say you need to do what is right for you. But set your boundaries and be consistent. No r talk until the A is over.
Also have you gone to C. Even if h won't go with you then go alone.
oh--I don't know if Affair is over cuz she's in jail!! She took a bat to her ex once he started smacking her around when he found out she was seeing H. So he says. So, he's been out there on his own (glad to hear that part) but he feels he owes it to her to get her out of jail!! Unreal. I know he's distraught but I'm doing the 108 thing and keeping it real, working on me. So hard.
H is OTR driver - 48 Me 49 married 24yrs 2 sons, 22/20 H going thru MLC
