Major setback - any advice?

[JMC]

Yesterday I met my W for lunch. Purpose was to get a key to her apt so I can watch the cats this weekend while she and her sister go to a family reunion out of town. We had a great time walking around the tree-lined streets after lunch and then hugged and kissed for several minutes. We sold our house last week and now I am living with a friend. I gave her a copy of my credit report and a budget I had drawn up for the month until both of our paychecks can go into our individual accounts (did not want to do this earlier as the mortgage was automatically drawn from the main account). Anyway, W called later in the afternoon upset about how I was dividing the money (I make about 40% more than her). I held my cool for several minutes and suggest we get together to go over, but after several minutes I got angry and told her she had some nerve asking for $ after neglecting our wedding vows, commiting adultry and moving out. I told her to call her other men for money.

I felt terrible almost right after the words came out of my mouth. I called later to apologize, but feel the damage may be too much to overcome. Since she first mentioned D in late Nov, and during the 4+ months she has moved out I have not lost my temper until yesterday. Any advice on damage control?

[mkultra]

Itsucks that we have to walk around on egg shells when they are the ones acting like bafoons. Well, maybe we act like bafoons , too. Have you gone to a mediator to help with the division of funds? Sometimes mediators are better than lawyers but sometimes they are just as bad as therapists. It sounds like you are the mature one now so try to hold your tongue when things heat up. Everything you said was great until you blew up and that is what she is walking away with. Too bad It is not too late to mend it. Be supportive. You already apologized and that was very big of you. Don't feel guilty. Guilt is bad. Think positive.

[JMC]

Thanks for the advice and support. I hate it and regret that I lost my composure. Although I have spoken to a lawyer and a mediator, neither of us has filed. I appreciate the 'egg shells' comment. It is a mess that they choose to leave and then expect all the glory as well. I continue to hope and pray for the best (in my opinion, a reconciliation), but perhaps prepare for the worst.