Is there any hope? Anyone had any success

[truebronco]

I am not being negative, and I throughly have enjoyed and appreciate the advice and support the past few days from all of you. But as I read through all the threads and everyones stories, I am scared there is no hope in saving my marriage. I see everyone has the same horrible sitch's I am going through. I knwo there are no guarantees and I am facing the fact that most likely my 13 year marriage is over. But does anyone succeed, do I have any chance at all of her opening her eyes?
Sorry to whine and not trying to bring everyone down, but this is a tough day,

[Just_D]

Hello? If we don't have hope, what do we have? Sure I get down, but I'm not giving up... I'm especially not giving up hope that he will come to his senses (and come home where he belongs)!!

Some days I may not have much... but at least I have hope, ya know? Right? Right!!

[No_LRT_Yet]

TB,

I have had success. It worked after about 6 months of separation. While she is ready to leave again because of insecurities, I did DB myself into another chance. So, if you hang in there, figure out what works and what doesn't, you may be another success story.

[sadhearted]

I have believe SOMEONE is successful... I mean not all marriages end in divorce right? And my H has walked out about 4 times and come back. We're now on time number 5... Waiting to see...

I'm still hopeful that my H will open his eyes and realize just what it is he THINKS he wants to walk away from.

Yeah I have my less hopeful days but I think we all have those. Just part of the process.

Here's to hope!!!

[789]

Yes there is sucess, not just the group in here YET.

Oh yeah, mine is ending in sucess, I will let you know when it happens.

That is hope, that is why we are all here, and yes some of us will have sucess in getting our families back, and some won't. We all believe we will and for the moment, that is what counts for us.

PMA

[truebronco]

Thanks gang, I have to believe there is hope. As I know you all do, you wonder what they are thinking, and what they are giving up. And like in my case I know some others are experiencing, they dont even want to try, refuse counseling, lets just call it quits and throw away 13 years and put our kids through misery along with us.
I am hoping and praying this horrible nightmare will end someday. I would love to hear of your success as it happens PMA, and anyone else out there. Sad hearted I hope he stays this time and hope he wakes up.
If I have to go through this I appreciate going through this with you all. I dont have much to offer to any of you as far as good advice, or I guess I wouldnt be going through this Ha!
Are all of you also dealing with infedility as I am. Of course she doesnt admit to an Affair, says its not an affair because it has been non-sexual. But admits to having lunches with him, going to the mall with him while I am working, and I had the phone company send me the phone records and they have talked every single day for 9 months. Saddest thing is he was my friend also, coaching football together, taking our boys to movies together. makes me sick.

[JR2007]

Check out this post:

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=692727&Board=9&page=0

I look at this quite a bit to remind myself...

[Just_D]

Not everyone here is dealing separation AND affairs. I can raise my hand and say yes, though he ended it 2 years ago when he told me (the same week).

I *think* I have forgiven him, but I think the way I handled things the past 2 years because of the affair led to the separation. I was just saying today on my thread or sad's that for 2 years, I could not look him in the eyes. When it first happened, I was surprised that he looked the same... like he should have grown horns or something. It was really weird. I would lose myself in what I would call black holes, which I have had to pull myself out of for good now that he's gone. I think all of that contributed to his leaving.

It is a shame we are all pretty much in the same boat, but it's also comforting in a way to be able to share and be understood here.

[sadhearted]

My H hasn't been unfaithful to me as of yet. And right now there's no reason to believe that he is now. So until I have proof I'm not going to worry myself with that.

He also has refused to go to counseling this time around. We went a couple years ago and it was really helpful he even said so, but for some reason won't go now. I hate that my kids (7 & 3) or going through this but it's out of my control. All I can do is help them through this as much as possible.

You know everyone likes to throw out the saying if you love something let it go if it comes back it was yours to start. Well let's see he's come back 4 times shouldn't that mean he's mine? lol

Yeah I hear ya about not having much to offer. Feel the same way but it helps to be able to just talk with other people who KNOW what you're going through.

I'd love to be able to post a success on here one day. Hope that happens! Until then we all just have to hang tough and take care of us and our kids.

[NikB]

Take a look at the success stories, posted in For Newcomers I think. Also take a look at the Piecing forum, if you want to see both some successes (and the hard road you're in for if you do reconcile... I consider my story a success so far in that my H has come home and is trying again, but it's sure tougher than I ever imagined).