Has he had a full physical lately...being military he might be hesitant to mention that he has ED issues..
I know my H started having ED problems about the same age as your H...and that was also about the same time he decided to have an emotional affair...I guess he thought it might help things...when that didn't work it was a physical affair...
Basically he had a total mental breakdown with a MLC...your H sounds like he could be depressed...and I too question why he was single to such an older age???...the sudden drop off though is a bit odd...even for a man who is having an affair...something is bothering him...but until he is ready to deal with whatever it is...there isn't much you can do...
I am sorry I can't give you more then that...I do hope you get answers...but really he is the only one who has them...perhaps counseling for you or for the both of you IF he will go...
Sudden withdrawal or cessation of affection is very often indicative of a third person in the relationship.
You might want to consider snooping a bit until you are satisfied one way or the other that there is or isn't another person. There is no reason to run around thinking you are crazy from all of it not making sense.
You do need to stop ALL grabby/needy/desperate behavior. That means don't be clingy or desperate for his attention. Don't do drive-by "I love you"s, expecting "I love you too" in return. Don't take his hand unless he takes your first. Don't initiate sex with him.
Let us know what you find out. If there is no affair, the advice you get will be very different than if there is an affair.
All the best, -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
Don't give up on getting what you want in this life.
It's just a guess, but I worry about two things others have mentioned -- depression, and "something happened". Whatever it is, it seems he owes you some sort of explanation, so don't let him make you feel like you should settle for his evasion of the truth of what is going on.
I hope you have the option of seeking professional help. Keeping it bottled up inside, if you do, is a waste of your life. It would also be good to have a professional assess the likelihood of depression.
Sorry if I missed it, but how frequently do you have sexual relations with him? Is there any sort of affection -- hugging, playfulness?
Also, have you tried talking about it with him when you are feeling relatively good? Or, is it always when you are feeling the worst of the despair?
