Hi all - I posted this on another blog but thought I needed to start a new one.
About my sitch, I'm hoping you can help. I still don't know what I should be doing. My wife and I have been seperated for 4 months. She gave me the love u but not in love w u speel. She moved out for a few weeks but came back home because of our 1 1/2 daughter. We are in the process of selling our home so she can get her own place. She just started a new insurance businesss 4 months ago and is constantly stressed out about it. When I asked about that stress effecting our marriage she said it just put a magnifying glass on it. So right now we are in limbo until we sell the house. It really hurts me when she acts all happy about the thought of moving on. I have been her caretaker for the last 11yrs. I pay all the bills make all appointments. I'm wondering if she will really miss me when we are on our own. She is still spending money like its no big deal even though her business is slowly soaking us dry. My friends and family are telling me to file for sep. to get our finances sep. to protect myself and our daughter. I don't know how to handle living with this "alien". I feel she is being so selfish to the point that I don't know if I want to hold on to her anymore. How could she walk away from us. How can she put her stupid insurance business before her family. If it was me I would quit my buiz in a heartbeat to save my fam. But, its not up to me. I know this is hard but what would u guys do? I spoke with my DB coach and she told me how to be more upbeat, sympathetic and empowering around my wife which I have tried to be. But it really hurts to see her acting like she is happy about everything. Is she just not thinking about the big picture? How this is going to effect our daughter schedule in the future? Being shuffled between 2 households. Having 2 bdays, all the holidays. She is already not wanting to see my family because she is uncomfortable. Why is this all about her? I dont know what to do anymore.
I wished I could help, I am going through a similiar situation. My wife is having an affair (she doesnt call it an afair, just a friendship claiming there has been no-sexual interaction) but regardless has told me she is not in-love with me anymore and has feelings for this other man, who was a friend of mine, WAS. She wants to move out, I know is scared of being the bad guy and moving in with him, not only to look bad to everyone in our small town but mostly for our kids and because she knows that would hurt me. We cant afford for her to get her own place, cant afford to sell our house with the market the way it is. So meanwhile we are stuck living in the same home, and me knowing while I work all day she is talking to him and for all I know seeing him. Its a true train wreck and I am stuck. I love her with all my heart and wished i could stop this nightmare.
H-40 W-33 Married 13.5 yrs S18, S11, D15, D9 W asked for D on 6/05/07
