OM/PA, MLC and the hits keep coming............Pt2

[EmtnRllrCstr]

It is very scary to see things change that fast. I don't think I will ever feel 100% safe in a relationship again. I could understand a failed marriage after years of troubles, but this is totally different.

I agree.....this has proven to me that people and relationships change quickly - too quickly. Another thing that is coming from my experience, which I do not like, is that I am losing my faith in people. I have always been a very trusting person and gave people the benefit of doubt. But through this sitch when I have confided in people: W, IL's, a few friends, OMW, they have trampled on my trust..... The thing that I do not get is that I can see no benefit in what they have/are doing.

I often wonder if it is just a character flaw in my H that caused him to deal with life's challenges in this way, or if we all are more likely to cheat than we want to believe.

I also think about this....I never would have thought that my W would be capable of cheating. It goes against how she was raised, and her beliefs.

think it is all about opportunity and character. Some people will never let themselves get into a situation where there is a possibility of friendship turning EA then PA, whilst others will.

I agree.... I have always been very cautious about my friendships, probably to cautious, I never wanted to cross that line. Our W's on the other hand where to care free about their friendships not thinking anything more would come from them. Well....something more did come from it and it destroyed their families.

Take care.....Stay Strong,
Scott

[andyv]

Well its been nearly a week away with OM, and she has only spoken to DD once (when I called for DD).

Got a text message yesterday, "How is DD, tell her I got her two gifts, take care".

Sounds like she is having too good a time to talk to DD.

If only she showed some remorse over the last several months for what has happened, at least I would feel better about it.

Oh well, must get back on the horse and keep DBing and GALing again.

[Dr LOve]

If only she showed some remorse over the last several months for what has happened, at least I would feel better about it.

I feel the same way. My W acts like it was no big deal.I wonder what it would have been like if it was the other way around. If she would have keept it quiet for me

Husband

[andyv]

I doubt it mate.

Gotta stay stong thought buddy. I don't know about you but with each day I am finding it harder to accept her back if things were to change.

I suppose it is a common feeling to have when going through this nightmare.

[Dr LOve]

Hey andyv,

YOU are not going to believe this. IT'S RAINING. This is California. IT DOES NOT RAIN HERE IN JULY.
How ya doing big guy. I am doing allot better today. Had a hard time yesterday.
W is teetering between her nice and bitchy self. I see the forces battling inside her. Before she would be nice one day and then mean the next. Now it's back and forth. I need to keep in mind NOT to take things personal because when I do my attitude changes. It's we both have an interesting weekend coming up. We both don't know what to expect.
I know what you are saying about starting to have doubts about if you want things to work out.
Look into your daughters eyes. You like me have reasons besides ourselves that WE need to think of. The way I figure it I have 8 more years of inspiration looking at my son. When he turns 18 then it becomes more of a ME game.
Andyv It’s raining!! I don't know it ya read my post yesterday but I went to church yesterday and poured out my soul. I am not a religious guy. I do believe there is a supreme being, but I thing religion hereon earth got kind of screwed up by man kind. Man added his own 2 cents in.
I wonder if the rain is a sign. I mean anything could make a song play on the radio or a book fall down but RAIN.


Husband

[NeedSomePatience]

I keep going through the same up and down feeling: If things were to change today, would I take her back? Does she deserve me, a good person? Should I find someone that would apprecitate this sort of dedication and the changed person I am because my W doesn't. I am sure you are thinking the same thing. If it has been this important to try to save your family for this long, then it might be worth it to keep on trying. these feelings help us detach a little better, and maybe that would help them get out of their "fog". One day they will see that OM is just a fantasy and temporary relief from us. but sometimes the hurt feelings keep us from wanting to go on because it is just easier to give up. They chose the easy way out, and sometimes it is tempting to choose the same path. Remember that we chose the path that is right, not the easy path. We chose the rocky path, and some patches are rockier than others. that's my two cents about it anyway. Stay strong buddy, better days are to come.

[Dr LOve]

andy

I second NSP. we came this far. Good luck thursday..

husband

[WAW in the OC]

husband,

Just wanted to see if you got the book I emailed to you. You may not agree with everything he has to say but there are some nice compliments to what DR has to say. Let me know what you think. He has a lot of typos and repeats a lot of the same things but it is easy reading and only 100 pages.

[andyv]

NSP,

Well written, It put things back in perspective, and given me the strength to continue.

You are 100% right, I have never taken the easier option in my life, and won't do it now.

Thanks mate.
AndyV

[Dr LOve]

hey andy v

whats up? wnt back on my word and am working late tonight.

Husband