It is finally out, he wants a D

[HSSweetheart]

Back here again, yipee. My H dropped the bomb again last night. If we are keeping track I think this is the third time. This time I am told he wants a D and it is for good.

Tells me he wants 50/50 kis so he won't pay support. NO WAY.

Kids don't know yet.

Looking for apt. Basically wants nothing except them. I told him that is not fair to them to be moved around all the time.

Also told I can afford the house on my own. Even though I can barely do it with his ck, no matter how small it is. But I guess that I have no choice now. I will have to get a second job which means I won't see my kids anyway.

He is selfish and always has been. Says he has lost all emotion for me. Points out ever thing I ever did that he didn't like or disagrees with. Now he tells me, instead of dealing with stuff at the time it happens.

It is really hard not to be nasty to him. He just patted me on the back because I told him I did the dishes and I told him that would be a first for him to do in our marriage. And that he better wash his hand now.

I can't help but be bitter. Sorry world. Be disappointed in me, why not add it to the list.

Don't know how I am going to make it through work today. At least my office mates are friends who know the situation. At least I am home tomorrow, just have to make it through today.

God give me strength, today is the first day of the rest of my shitty, poor lonely life.


6/13/07 D day A day that will live in infamy.

[Bislandgal]

Dear HSS

I have not read your posts before but just wanted to say I am thinking of you and know how it all hurts. I will keep you in my prayers. You can just go forward one step at a time , sometimes just one inch at a time and then we can only manage standing still for a bit. And if getting through a whole day looks like a challenge just consider surviving one minute at a time . Hang in there and now make sure your decisions are what is best fro you and your kids. get legal advice and don't listen to any 'bullying' from him

[brandnewday]

I am sorry you are going through this....again.

Maybe he really needs a chance to miss you and see what reality is like.

Hang in there, it really does get better then this!

[*KS*Chick*]

I'm sorry. Has he filed yet?

[HSSweetheart]

No, but he is going to. Told me to get a lawyer, everything has to be legal. Yipee. I can't even make my monthly bills now, how can I pay for a lawyer.

"everyone else does it and they don't have $ either" he tells me.

So not only am I doing something I don't want to do but somehow I have to come up with thousands of dollars to do it. I'd be on the street corner if I could but I'd have to pay them.

[*KS*Chick*]

Is he going to be unfair about things? Have you asked him about counseling or mediation? What're you doing for you? How many kids and what ages?

[HSSweetheart]

Well I think it will get worse before it gets better. He hasn't left yet, don't know when that will actually occur. Says he was going to his father's again before he found and place and I told him he did not need to do that. He is a procrastinator but who knows how long it will take.
Says he did't leave after xmas because of guilt. Guilt is good.

Says he tried for 2 yrs. Bull. Never tried. Just sat around doing nothing. No communication in 2 yrs. That's really working on it.

So hard not to be bitter. I want to tear him a new one for doing this to my kids. 50% custody over my dead body. I told him he didn't even want kids I did, I would never give them to him.

My S11 is very sensitive and emotional. This is going to kill him. He said he would kill us if we ever divorced. And now he wants them 50%? If I am such a bad parent as he says why doesn't he want them full time to protect them from bad old me?

Life will be an awakening for him. A good lesson in what he's done. He's never even bought underwear or made a bed. Mom and I did it. He'll just ask his sister.

Speaking of, I so want to e-mail her to say you win, he is all yours. But I know it will get back to him and he will be furious and it could move things along. But I REALLY want to. Help me curb my bad feelings, please!

[HSSweetheart]

D - 7
S - 11

He is being beyond fair. Wants NOTHING. No furniture, nothing. Just what is his-clothes, etc. Not even the house or a share thereof. Only kids 50% so he won't have to pay support. He is not greedy and we have nothing anyway.

[*KS*Chick*]

Don't email his mother. You know that's wrong. Can you cut expenses so that you don't need to work a second job?

[HSSweetheart]

Not really anything left to cut. Did it all already. Anything left to cut would be cable, internet, things I wouldn't really want to go without for myself or the kids.

Once he leaves some bills should decrease such as medical ins, food, electricity, water. Things that he used.