I got some interesting info yesterday that was kind of encouraging and a little discouraging.
She said to a trusted neighbor that she thought it would be easier to just get back together because of my new job, I'm looking good, I was so different in a good way last meeting etc. The Discouraging part was the trusted neighbor isn't so trusted and is talking my W into D because HER parents made her life miserable and didn't get D'd when she thought they should have, nice huh? So I have that to deal with...
The neighbor told the Pastor this stuff...
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
Yeah if it was from a neighbor..who knows. She may have just used the neighbor as a sounding board that day.
H-36 W-38 Married 14yrs Together 17 2 Children (D12, S15) 9/20/05 - Seperated 4/23/07 - Dbomb dropped 4/25/07 - I Love you, not in love "If it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for."
Yeah if it was from a neighbor..who knows. She may have just used the neighbor as a sounding board that day.
Well I thought the neighbor was being a helpful influence, come to find out she's NOT! Shoot! However, I know my W makes her own decisions. She takes influence and advice and weighs it against her own ideals, thoughts, opinions, and does what she wants. The fact that she even said she was considering reconciliation is HUGE, as you all know. It's the glimmer, despite what she tells the Pastor. What else would she tell him? She's not ready to take the first real step toward reconciliation, but she is willing to keep looking at me to see if I'll pass the tests. That's what tomorrow night is.
Again, I feel really calm about this. WAY more so than last time. Shoot, go back to that thread and see how freaked out I was and it went really well.
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
Maybe you can have the pastor run counter measures.
He does. He's pro-marriage. He can't be blatantly on my side or her side, as we're both part of his parrish. AND, I've asked him not to say things like, "H loves you, he really wants things to work, etc." He says things like, "I haven't heard from H since our last meeting." She said, "That's not like H." Pastor says, "Nope, he's a different guy." W says, "yeah..."
He's captured the vision to some extent and is actually pretty helpful. I'm not worried about him. Expecting him to be an aggressive positive influence wouldn't help any more than the neighbor being an aggressive negative influence.
Anyway...
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
H-36 W-38 Married 14yrs Together 17 2 Children (D12, S15) 9/20/05 - Seperated 4/23/07 - Dbomb dropped 4/25/07 - I Love you, not in love "If it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for."
Well I think that might answer one question, if pastor is pro-marraige"which he should be" and your W knows this, can she really say anything different to him. That would be like telling you a possiblity exists, and having you jump all over it. Your pastor would do the same, so she has to shut down and not tell him.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
And my other little positive is, she didn't say, "this is all we're going to talk about" like she did last time. And, I told the pastor I'm going to talk about other stuff if she wants to. So, he's on board this time. It'll be cool, no begging, nothing wussy, just chit chat as she deems appropriate.
Should be fun!
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
