Married 20 years this 4th of July, I'm 47 W 44. 4 kids D 15, D 13, S 9, S 4...bombshell dropped this Mothers Day of all days with the "I don't love you anymore, my mind won't change and don't want to do counseling". W hasn't really told me reasons behind her feelings. Did the beg, cry, grovel piece before thankfully reading Michele's two books. I'm a reading fool now and trying to be my mature 47! Separation has hit the one month point w/ lots of self reflection. Question for anyone - does it take longer for wife to notice changes being physically separated vice living in same house but "separated"?
Me 47 W 45 D 16 & 13 S 9 & 5 Married 20 years Sep 13 May '07 DB Start 1 Jun '07
"You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go bear fruit - fruit that will last" John 15:16
Sorry you find yourself here. My DH moved out 10 days after our 20th anniversary.
About noticing faster if you're gone or not? I don't know. My sitch is so different from a lot of what I see. DH and I still see each other almost every day and spend weekends together (not nights). He has said he's noticed changes and he's also applauded how I'm handling things. (Cuz when he told me about his PA 2 years ago, I did the crying, begging, pleading, groveling down on my knees lose all respect for myself thing.) It took 2 years before I was ready to give him his space, I guess. As much as I hate that he's gone. As much as it scares the crap out of me, I *think* it was the right thing to do. Things had been terribly tense in those 2 years since the PA. Do I like it? No. Some days it's a living he!!. It's a roller coaster. But hang in there.
wow - nice touch on the "Separated Eternal Optimist" cuz I know I'm going to need lots of humor...made my W laugh/smile this week and that was a small victory
Me 47 W 45 D 16 & 13 S 9 & 5 Married 20 years Sep 13 May '07 DB Start 1 Jun '07
"You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go bear fruit - fruit that will last" John 15:16
very good