I read all your threads and needless to say deeply respect your emotional quotient at a time like this . This may sound lame however , I fail to understand what it is that your wife has been so unhappy about....is this some sort of attention seeking on her part ? Why would she give up a super stable guy, a home and kids in pursuit of a long distance relationship ? I mean......pardon my inability to comprehend . Wonder how long it will be when she realises what she has done .
If I were to apply this to myself i.e if my h walked out on me ( he hasnt yet but has had an a over internet ), I would struggle with taking him back after he has gone all the way with ow . Thats where i commend your eq . Plz share your thoughts on this . - candygirl
Candygirl, Thanks for the kind words. Have you read the MLC and depression sections of DR? My W is having a MLC (self admited) and I am certain that she also is prone to depression (not diagnosed yet my a Dr.). When you put these two together, it is very daunting.
I am of the strong opinion that this sitch has very little to do with me. Not that I cannot improve and be a better person, husband, father, etc. BUT, the source of her unhappiness comes from within herself. Until she learns to be happy with herself and do the things necessary to make herself happy, there is very little I can do to change things.
I say all of this because it is also something that you should think about. Is your H's unhappiness related to your R or to his internal issues? If it is the former, then you have great options, but if it is the latter, then you can only work on yourself until he has done the hard work necessary to change himself.
Quote:
Why would she give up a super stable guy, a home and kids in pursuit of a long distance relationship ? I mean......pardon my inability to comprehend . Wonder how long it will be when she realises what she has done .
Short Answer: To pursue the "In Love" feeling.
I am sure that she will eventually realize that I am not the bad guy here and that leaving me will not make her happy. The question is, how patient am I. In otherwords, will I still be willing to work on the M/R at this time?
As I said above, I am moving back to newcomers forum. So join me over there. I will check out your sitch and make some more comments as they occur to me.
Best Wishes, SD
Me 41 W 41 Kids: S9 S7 Married 16 years Bomb dropped 2/2/07 Still living together! current thread
SD - I'm a newcomer here, and I draw courage from guys like you. I have a WAW with an OM and I'm devastated, and I don't even have to deal with the horror of being separated from my kids. BTW does the OM happen to live in Texas? From my experience so far, having an OP in the picture gives incredible fuel to the drive for divorce, at least in my W's case. She wants to make her A permanent ASAP! Fortunately, in CA it takes six months.
Anyway, I agree that your separation is an opportunity for progress. Like everyone here tells me, you need to take the time to focus on yourself, GAL, and detach emotionally as much as you can from the W. When you've got kids, this is very hard; but needed.
M 63 W 40 M 4/91 S14/D9 bomb 7/6/07 D filed 8/3/07 final 2/4/08 thread
