I read all everyone's advice etc. and I don't see how you do it. My husband and I have been separated since January. He moved out to get some space - we had a 90 day window to get both our acts together. Well, about a month after he moved out he met the woman of his dreams (successful, no kids)-he claimed for months that nothing was going on etc. This is until I found out about her - he was still coming to the house a lot for dinners with the family etc. He is now living with her and has introduced her to the kids. How do you not flip out at them? I feel so betrayed and lied to I want to rip his head off? I am also confused as to what woman would date/live with an unemployed man who is going through a divorce. I am so confused... M - 12 years Separated - Jan. 07 Divorce Filed - May 07 (by me after I found out about the OW)
He Probably did not meet her a month after he moved out is the best guess...probably knew her before and may make snese if you start thinking of what ever is the straw that broke the camels back??
Sure you can file for Divorce....but it wont stop all the stages you will go through and wnt stop the pain...there may come a point when it makes sense. Keep reading. If you have not got the Divorce Remedy get that book and also look into midlife information...at least there is alot more info out there now that there was years ago.....Divorce is hard and really not the answer if it can be avoided its worth it...at least you will know you did all you could..take care keep reading and take some time for you
I am also confused as to what woman would date/live with an unemployed man who is going through a divorce. ================== I can answer that one, he is LYING his head off. As far as she knows he's got a job lines up, um, deciding which job to take, taking a break, anything! same goes for the D, he's got a good story going on there.
He is deluding himself, he still thinks the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Remember, it is not about her being better than you, it is about his inmaturity and his cowardice by taking the easy way out and just forget his responsabilities.
WAS make no sence 80% of the time, make the stupidest desicions (my would spend hundreds on new suits yet there were times he had to sleep in his car 'cause he had no where to stay,before that, he got an appt 2x as far from his job, you see?)
He's been "beemed up" to the mother ship. If i'm not mistaken you can have the court forbide him from having her aroudn the kids.
Stay strong and detach from his stupidity.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
I agree with what cat and grace have said. He knew her before, he has lied to you so he is no doubt lying to her.
That is part of what happened to me. He needed to move out to be on "his own" and yet, had a room mate and slowly let her move in as well.
How did I not flip out him? Well, I did flip out him because it made me feel better. Too bad for him.
Anyhow, after my flipping out, I totally ignored him. I no longer emailed him, called him nor responded to his emails and calls in a timely fashion as I used to. I got out and did things for me. Joined a wine club, went running, went for drives and long walks. Met with friends for dinners and coffee. Visited out of town friends, read books to help me, read books for fun, etc.
It wasn't long after that and after the fact that he knew that I started seeing someone and moving on that he got back in touch.
Thank you for your reponses - I feel as if I am in a nightmare that I can't wake up from. I am going out of town for a couple of weeks with the kids, so hopefully I can clear my head. I would like to say that I have handled this with grace and dignity but I haven't - I have flipped out a couple of times on him. This is the hardest thing I have ever been through. I did start to take anti-depressants because I couldn't make it through the day without a break down. Tough since I work full-time and have the children 95% of the time.
