I think it is wonderful that your son is noticing...and how he reacts...this should just make you melt...and I am sure it does...it is our kids that keep us going so many times..
And yes...your wife needs time...true you don't need her...you want her...for how long???...there is no time period...I didn't think I could last a few months...I sincerely thought I could "stop loving" my H in a few months...6-12...well that didn't happen much to my agony at times...so many times I wished I had had the "privilege" of unloving him first because the pain was so bad and he acted like he was just fine with it all...how do they do that???...with H it was ALL BOTTLED UP INSIDE!!!...I will bet your wife has her feelings for you bottled...it becomes a defense mechanism...the major difference for you and me is we are on separate sides...he was the drunk who left me...where as your wife was the sober one left...would I have been her in time???...that thought is scary to me as well...
The other wonderful thing about out kids is they let us know when we made the right decision...when I decided to let H come home...I could see how happy it made my son...and this made me want to work all the more...and in time it also effected H to this point where he finally said he would always work on the marriage with me and he wouldn't leave us again....no matter what!...at times I felt that was more of a curse then a blessing but things are working out...he is becoming more the man that I admire then the one that I cried for...
So hang in there...hang on...hold on...grab on...your doing great...in time others will notice too...you won't forever remain the bad guy...trust me...
Lin
Sorry not good at this copy/paste stuff.
Yes Lin, It makes me feel wonderful inside when I see it in his eyes, and he asks me how many days, hope I never have to give a smaller number to him.
Well I hope she has the same "problem" you did, in not being able to stop loving me. I pretty much can tell that she is keeping it all BOTTLED UP INSIDE, I hope when that finally breaks it is for the betterment of "us".
Hopefully she does take me back one day, I know my son would be so excited. Since he is always asking me to come live at to their new apartment.
I will hang on, hold on, etc.... I also realize I am going to have bad days, and I am going to use this place to vent, so I don't do it at the wrong time to the wrong person.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
Well I did go to dinner, for the most part it went well. It helped that her parents were with us, kept conversasions going.
Now for the shocker, I really do not remember what we were talking about, but I do remember in the middle of it she came out and said "if we get back together", I know at the moment that does not mean alot, but holly cow, my heart almost burst out of my chest. When it was all done I behaved myself and just was agreeing with what she was saying without going nuts.
Part 2 of the shocker. When I was leaving, my son always walks me out to my car, gives me hugs and we usually talk for a bit about anything going on, school, sports, etc... Well this time when we got out away from her apartment he was acting like he had won Disneyland or something, he comes up and tells me that mom and Gma were talking and that mom was saying how much she still loves me.
Time for a cold shower.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
SEE! You'll be back home by the time we play golf in Sept.
Keep it cool, and realize there is real work to do, and keep yourself ready for ups and downs. Just be prepared, these feelings don't just go away overnight for the WAW's.
I'm stoked for you!!!!!
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
Well, not a whole lot to say. Everyting was just normal talk, except when it came to her grandmother who passed away on thursday. She was in a good mood, her and I really didn't talk to each other except like I said as a whole group.
It just shocked me when I went outside for a smoke that she followed me out, hell she didn't even do that when we were together. I remember now, she was talking about going to work full time, which will actually suck for her because she is about to enter nursing school within the a year. She needs the extra time to study and all that, I hate to see her waste that time working, when if we were together she would not have too. NO I did not say that to her, but it was what I was thinking.
I am just floating right now, and enjoying it. Because I know that we will still have down days even if we make it back together.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
Well Yeah, my weekend starts now. I better go find something to do, I haven't talked to W since last night and I kind of want to keep it that way for another day. Still smiling about last night, I am so easy. lol
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
Well so much for her not calling. She is wondering where I am, she thought I would just show up for dinner, guess I am suppose to be a mind reader to boot. If I am suppose to be over for dinner every night, we would just save a ton of money if we were all in the same household. Just kidding, I think I still need some time for myself and my brain.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
