I can view our joint checking and his credit card online. There is something on his credit card that I'm not sure what it is. Seems/sounds suspicious to me, but I'm thinking I'm am going to sit back & wait for 2 reasons: 1. then he will know I'm monitoring on a regular basis and 2. don't want to "start" anything long distance if it isn't anything.
I guess I am the suspicious one and just asking "hey what's this" might not even bring any red flags up w/ him if he's not "doing" anything he shouldn't be.
Or do I let it go for awhile?
I really would like to just be able to talk to him about stuff -- I guess I still feel like I'm on eggshells a lot, but then again, I don't want to "start" anything long distance that could escalate out of control under the circumstances. I think I'm doing the best thing for right now --
what do you guys think?
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
How much money are we talking here? What general type of merchant is the purchase from? Is it one transaction or several?
My view is that their interaction with you is a much more important sign than their interaction with anyone else. If he's distancing himself from you, it's a problem even if he's living like a monk away from you. If he's close to you and treating you like the love of his life, then he's obviously not letting any friendships he may or may not have infringe on your relationship.
Last edited by Crazy Eddie; 05/31/0708:15 PM.
a fine and enviable madness, this delusion that all questions have answers, and nothing is beyond the reach of a strong left arm.
Ok, thank you for the reality check!!! Just slap me a few times and tell me to JUST QUIT IT!!!
He has been loving, etc. on the phone and I know he misses us. He's not living like a monk, and he knows that I don't expect him to. I don't mind him going to the bars w/ the guys playing pool & darts, etc. It's probably to my advantage to just act "as if" I know he would never do anything stupid and then maybe he won't.
I agree. If he is still talking to anyone, it isn't affecting his love for me -- I don't think he's that good of an actor.
He just called and asked me to look to see if his paycheck had gone through and I "accidentally" clicked on the credit card and said "Oh didn't mean to do that, but what's such & such" and he told me - no big.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
As a man, married 31 years, I say it is joint money and you have a right to understand what any purchase over, say, $50 is for. You shouldn't have to walk on eggshells and he should not hide it. Just don't broach the subject in an accusing way. Be matter of fact.
I think it is good for couples to balance the checkbook together. We don't, because we have so many accounts, and she knows I budget out every penny. Neither of us has any vices.
