Well, today is the big day. We go to the ST. I am a little anxious to say the least. Telling strangers about my sex life is not exactly something I am comfortable with. But, I know it is something that has to be done.
I am also a little nervous about hearing more "stuff" that I don't know about. But, I guess it is better that it come out now than down the road.
Wish me luck - I will give you all details when I get back
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
Yes, we are. Here's hoping the new therapist finally reaches Mr. Heywyre and enables him to happily get some action where he's supposed to, with someone that's eager to get some with him!
I admire your patience. In your shoes, I'd have gone straight from the youngest kid's high school graduation ceremony to the lawyer's office. Here's hoping that extraordinary patience pays off!
a fine and enviable madness, this delusion that all questions have answers, and nothing is beyond the reach of a strong left arm.
Yes, I am hoping it pays off big time too - I wonder if it really is like riding a bicycle or do you forget how to do it?
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
Yeah, it's kind of like riding a bicycle and being a virgin again too LOL. I found (for me anyway) after not ML for long periods at a time (like a year or more) that things had seriously tightened up LOL. Worked those kinks out easily though.
I am a little anxious to say the least. Telling strangers about my sex life is not exactly something I am comfortable with. It will not be anything new to then HW. Paint the picture of your life, M, so the truth is shown.
Wish me luck Luck, best wishes, good vibes, what ever works for you!
Good Luck! Keep an opened mind now, and keep those expectations under check. It may just be making baby steps instead of Niagra Falls.
Quote:
I found (for me anyway) after not ML for long periods at a time (like a year or more) that things had seriously tightened up LOL. Worked those kinks out easily though.
Okay now GIL, that's just a little too much information.
Love,
COG
My Story http://www.divorcebusting.com/forum...&Number=660444&page=2#Post660444
Go, Hey, go!!! I'm so glad you two are in a better place now and hopefully w/ this C, will just get better & better
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
Thanks for all your well wishes guys - it was much appreciated.
The session lasted over 2 hours but it went a lot better than I had ever anticipated. This guy is amazing.
First of all, he WAS an anglican minister (and no, he doesn't preach religion to you at all) and has been practicing as a psychologist for over 30 years. He has done grief counselling, he was a psychologist/pastor in the prison system and he has suffered from depression since he was 8 years old but has only been diagnosed and on medication for the past 15 years. He outright told my H that "by far the spouse of the depressed person suffers much more emotionally than they do themselves" and he gave credit to his wife for hanging in there with him through "a very difficult time". So that was something I think H needed to hear.
He is VERY direct and to the point and there will be no beating around the bush with this guy - something my H desperately needs and we weren't getting with the last guy.
He kept pressing my H to answer the questions when he would avoid, delay, deflect - you name it, he kept saying "what does that have to do with my question and could we please come back to what we were talking about". He made him answer some VERY emotional questions from his past and I saw a side of him never revealed before. It was sad, but comforting at the same time to know he is human. H also liked him very much and said "if anyone can find the answer he can"
Of course this was only the first appointment (another one next week) and he dug pretty deep considering, but he isn't totally convinced at this time my H is suffering from M/W complex but something (and I can't remember the huge name for it) that is MUCH MORE complex (wouldn't you know it)
However, there is a VERY good side to this - the homework
He told us, before our next appointment:
(1) take a shower together (2) give each other a massage (15 minutes each side) but no touching the genitals
I am SO looking forward to this because we have NEVER (yes, never) taken a shower together, although I have suggested it oodles of times
and, also H has never given me a massage so this should be interesting
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
but it went a lot better than I had ever anticipated. This guy is amazing.