It is all about the legalities right now.. your w etc.. are conspiring to commit immigration fraud. Do not get anymore involved in this.. run like hell !
W is telling SIL to hurry up getting her passport..I guess she needs to get one on her own and get to a border entry town so she can make it to the first interview that W expects will happen soon in a few days......
This whole thing sucks big time........
~Sol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Single Dad, and luvin it! ~ Happiness is a state of mind ~
I cant legally advise you as I am not a VA atty.. but you should seek counsel asap.. call your local Bar Association they often have referral services that are very economical.
Ask for DR atty and tell him or her everything. Be very candid as you need to protect yourself.. never mind about anyone else at this point. That would be a starting point I think.
W is still going full steam with this and getting her sister to start moving. W told me 2 days ago that the petition for bringing a fiance was approved, and SIL already has her passport.
This morning W was more calm that yesterday, and not bitching at me like she was. I can almost hear the violin music when she told me to "have a nice day".........I just ignored her and left for work.
She is in a "happier mood" because she is getting what she wants.... 1) helping her sister. 2) keeping OM close. 3) using and appeasing me to make this happen.
Even when she was talking D a while back, she told me that we should D but for me to still live in the house (so I can continue to support her in a place to live).....she uses our duaghter as an excuse so I would see her everyday.
One time she told me (I don't know if she was serious or being sarcastic) that we should D and I should marry one of her other sisters to help them. She obviously doesn't see us as being a "married couple"........or just a couple. We are simply 2 people living under the same roof.....and it seems that W will throw a bone to me every so often (ie: sex, cook, fix the house, being nice....etc).....
So is there really light at the end? Not in our M - and not at this time.......W is really "out there", with this immigration fraud looming over my roof.....she is using our home address for all of her correspondence....which pisses me off......
I know that we can be civil...and I would prefer for us to be civil if we were separated. I am seeking legal advice and telling all. Then I will have my counseling session (by myself) and I will tell all again. Right now, I am telling everyone......and I have told W, but I will tell her again......and show her the new laws that she will just ignore.
There is no "saving my M" right now......but I will go dark for my own sake and my daughter's.
Last edited by sol1696; 06/06/0712:37 PM.
~Sol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Single Dad, and luvin it! ~ Happiness is a state of mind ~
Hi Sol.. I've been following your sitch and don't really have any advice to give. But, wanted to let you know I've been thinking about you and what you are doing getting legal advice on this craziness is key. You don't want to be involved in that crap.
Wow Sol, you sure seem to know alot about what your W is thinking and why she is doing what she's doing! I don't even know that much about what I am doing and thinking. STOP yourself! You have no idea, you are just putting everything through your own emotional screens and making it what suits your worldview. Right or wrong, don't do it. Just do what you have to do and stop interpreting her every word and action. If she sh!ts on you it shows she doesn't love you, if she's nice she's just using you...this is your personal view right now, let it go. Deal with what is! If she says "goodbye have a nice day" say "you too" and leave, don't just walk out fuming which is what you did. Start taking control again, you just endlessly resort to anger and then point to how tough you have it when anyone challenges that. C'mon, is going dark a solution or another angry attack on W (who yes deserves every friggin bit of it, but, is it going to be helpful?) STOP JUST FEELING AND THINK, DAMN IT!
See, this is where I agree with whatisis, Sol. In a lot of ways, it seems to me that you are reacting, and basing too many of your decisions, thoughts, etc, out of anger towards your W. Sure, you have a RIGHT to be angry, no doubt about it, but DO not attempt to make rational decisions based upon that one emotion. By quelling that anger, you gain control of you and provide a whole different perspective on your sitch.
I think you're on the right track man, but there are some subtleties here that I really think you need to examine further.
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
It's just that my W either does NOT realize the seriousness and danger of what she is doing....
OR....
She does know the danger, and she is taking a big risk and could care less about what happens to her or us, and she is deliberately being IGNORANT.....
It's not just with this one sister she is helping. She has 8 sisters, from 30 to 16 years old, and she has tried to help one of them before but failed (she got deported)...
My W is all about bending or breaking immigration rules....yet she has a nice life here now, gained her citizenship, yet abuses those rights she swore to protect.
What she is doing is not right, and highly illegal.
