husband i just wanted to let you know that yes your situation with your wife sucks but i would trade places with you in a heartbeat. i wish that my h was still living at home. i feel like that since my h has moved in with ow that i now have no chance left with him. my h has closed out our bank account, changed our insurance to be separated, and has opened new accounts with the ow. i now feel that i have no chance left with him. now he has nothing nice to say and all he wants to do is argue and be rude. then when i try to ignore him bc i don't want to argue that just makes him even angrier. like i said yes your situation with your wife still sucks but at least she is still at home you can still when her back( and i think you are doing a good job at what you are doing) she went out with you last weekend which is really good. look for the positives and i wish you all the luck with your wife.
me-30 h-38 m-11 yrs s-6 s-7 ss-13 h left-april 21,2007 found out of ea april 1, 2007
From what I've read, you seem to be on the right track, husband. Kudos to you for sticking it out!
Lost, I know you're going through a rough time now, but believe me, you're a lot better off than having to endure someone who sounds callous, unfeeling and undeserving of your affection.
I’m so sorry if I offended you. My heart (what’s left) does go out to you. I was not saying my sitch is worst than yours. I was just pointing out how everyone’s is different. I can’t imagine what it would be like to love some one who’s out ward appearance look like they hates me. I do feel things are slooooooly working out. Part of my problem is My Heart was hurt just as bad as yours when you found out. I want to be mad at her but I can’t. Yes you live that pain every day because you H are with the OW. My sitch not as bad as your sitch but I am left in limbo. You know where your H is. I have to keep flip flopping is she or isn’t she.
Again I feel so sorry if I caused you any more hurt. We all have had our life time’s worth of hurt
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Alot of people here recommend the 5 Languages of Love. It's suppose to be a great book. Another very good one is "For Men Only" by Shanti ...something... I think it's Feldman???. I read the "For Women Only" book by the same author and it's awesome. Really helps with understanding the opposite sex better. I grew up in a house of women so men have always been a mystery to me.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
I have a real question. During anyone's interaction here on the board... Has there ever been a situation where the WAS, was not involved with someone else? I can definately prove a EA, I feel like I wouldnt want her back if I could prove she was Physical with someone else. My wife is in denial and as silly as it sounds, I feel like until I can prove she is physical, I have to keep DBing. It really is important to me... I just dont think there is any excuse or reason that is strong enough to justify her f**cking someone else.
My WAW is not having any EA/PA to my knowledge, I have been good, not snooping. So I could be wrong. Also there is no excuse or reason that I think someone should have a PA, unfortunately we all know it happens all to frequently. I think if I found out my W was having one, I would be doing a whole lot of soul searching, but in the end I know she is my best friend and the love of my life, I would continue my DB'ing efforts.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
husband no you did not offend me. i am just telling you that i am losing more and more hope everyday that my m is going to work out. i just want to let you know that even though things are not back on track you do have a lot of positives. hold onto those. and i wish you all the luck with your w.
me-30 h-38 m-11 yrs s-6 s-7 ss-13 h left-april 21,2007 found out of ea april 1, 2007
Mornin everyone a new day has arrived Yes my W did have a physical affair. I know it may be hard for people to understand but I still love her. Her A was with a guy she went out with before we got married. So it’s not like she just picked up someone in a bar. For that matter she had sex with him before me. YES once we were married I gave my vow that basically my body was her and hers alone. And I expected the same from her. And I do believe that if she had not had sex with this guy in the past it would not have happened. I do hurt when I think about them together. Now this might sound weird aside from the physical part I am kind of glad it happened. Yes things were ok with our marriage. I was so busy providing for and taking care of my family that I lost track of my needs and hers. It’s like kids that grow up in an abusive family. They have always been around it so they don’t know any better. I had “settled” for what I thought was a day to day hum drum married life. I forgot my W and I were once lovers. If this would not have happened I would have not GAL. I would still be getting up going to work coming home and starting all over again the next day. Yes it is a high price to pay but it did open my eyes. I have also become a “preacher” for marriage. I have had talks to my married male friends asking them “when was the last time you and the W had a night out with just to two of ya.” Don’t be a robot like I was. I know where this guy lives and works I have enough stuff on him that I could make his life miserable. I could make him lose his job and family. But I had told my W when this all started I would not contact him. Inside I feel that this would push her farther away from me. Like my vows I keep my word. There is only one reason I would break that word and that is if he were to ever hurt her. I know my W was the one who “gave permission” to this guy to assist in ruing my family but like someone has said here in the past. He could have seen she was unhappy and said NO. What my W doesn’t under stand is that if he really did care for her he would not want to destroy her family. He would have TALKED to her. I know if any female friend came to me. I would have let her vent her problems and asked her if she wanted me to talk to her partner. I would not have just sat there pretending to listen thinking ya ya ya let scr*w. I am trying to file the physical part away. I will NEVER be able to forget it. My W and I have not had any Physical contact since the A. That is going to be a turning point. At that time I will know if we can really get past this. 789 & Simonw From all of this I have learned that I can not say anymore what I would if such and such happened. I USED to think if my W had an affair no questions asked she’d be out in the street. Now my response will always be I don’t know what I would do if that happens. Because I truly don’t.
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
