Your biggest regret

[still hoping]

I've been S 9 months - no talk of D and no papers filed yet, but think I am ready to walk. Not sure if I should confront H with all the ugly facts I've learned or if I should literally just walk without saying a word. The extent of his lies have caused irreparable damage to our R, even if he is going through MLC.

For all of you who are going through the D process or already D'ed, what do you regret the most? I don't want to regret the way I handle the situation from here on out, whether we reconcile or not...

Thanks for your help.

[Survival_Goddess]

Hello SH,

I don't regret ANYTHING about how I handled myself during the separation and the divorce. I DBed for 3 years and then we mediated our agreement. Everything is much better for me now that I am not married to the cheater and liar that is/was my H

[KristyS]

Life is too short to live with regrets.

[still hoping]

Thanks SG and KS for sharing.
I do regret not finding out about DB earlier - it would've saved my dignity a bit. But like you both, I don't want to regret anything else, which is why I'm having a really hard time letting go now. I want to be able to know for sure that I did everything I could possibly do, and I thought I was there, but now I'm having my doubts. Do I hang in there for just a little while longer??? Since reading the books, I don't regret anything I've done or how I've handled myself. I'm actually proud of what I've been able to do - which is become a stronger, more independent person and find myself again - along with really building up much more patience than I've ever had. Now I need to work on becoming a better decision-maker...

[KristyS]

How long you hang on is entirely up to you. No one can answer that question for you. You will know when it is time to move on.

[Roktop]

I have 3...

That one year ago I let myself get so fed up with my WaW actions I pulled the plug and gave up.

Then when she came back in July sat infront of me and told me how much she missed me... that instead of turning things right then and trying for counseling I said hurtful things.

And since Christmas over the last few months until Lacrosse started for my Kids I have been very overtly angry and unpleasant towards her.

They don't weigh heavily on my mind. I know what I did and what my reasons for doing them at that time were.

What it is that bothers me about these is that I am normally not a very angry person... and in all three of these situations I let anger and impatientence run me and as a result my actions had consequences that I really didnt care for.

"Fear leads to anger and that is the path to the Darkside" - Master Yoda

ROK

[still hoping]

ROK: Thanks for your honesty. It really is difficult to not let your emotions get the best of you, especially in such intense situations. But as long as you are aware of it, it's something to work on...

[Roktop]

I know, it's the fact that I knew better each time I did it / was doing it and still let it happen... That's the kick in the ass...

Rok

[Confused_in_AZ]

My biggest regret was letting her get away with what she did in marriage counciling. After a year and a half, I finally realized that she was not being truthful in any sessions. Crazy. That is the biggest regret that I have is to allow her to walk over me without putting up a fight.

Well, now I am. Still love her....but not laying down as I once did.

[still hoping]

CIAZ: good for you. The only things that come out of H's mouth are lies so I've had to stop asking questions so he'll stop lying.