Situation is WAW left and divorced me 8 months ago. I was very devastated as so many others. It was very fast left on Thursday filed on Monday and 30 days later we were divorced from the start she said some wierd things which led me to believe she was very confused and acting too fast. I did the normal begged, pleased cried, about 2 months ago i finally pulled myself together and have began steps of moving foward she has always been interested in my life since we div asking my sister questions and calling me all the time. After reading and builing strength i have learned to not be so available and have missed several of her calls and called back later if needed. Well the past few weeks she has been very interested in what im doing even going as far as having her nephew call me on a friday night to see if i wanted to go to the club or if i had any plans this was my weekend i had my D so it seemed really strange to me. Also my daughter has been calling me alot and putting me on speaker phone and asking me questions that a 5 year old wouldnt ask like where am i what im a doing? Than wed night daughter calls me we talk for a bit and later ex calls i missed the call than she text me and said she needed to talk and called me started saying that D was getting in trouble at daycare so i talked to her than i asked if there is anything else and she started crying pretty heavy and we got off phone than D called me next morning at 0730 than 3 times that night than on saturday 4 times. I love talking to my D no doubt but i starting to think Ex is behind this. I have kept the faith and continue going to counsling just looking for some input as to what others think the more i pull away the more she worries and tried to get closer i havnet given her any idea as to what im doing in my life i dont like that but no i have too, thanks.
Sounds like xW is starting to regret her decisions. Why do you think she left and end things so quickly (OM?)?
Keep doing what you are doing. Let her guess what you are up to. Sound like everything is perfectly okay when you talk her or to D5 (assume your xW is listening in; BTW do you share custody, even a basic schedule?). Your message should be that you have moved on with your life and it is wonderful.
If she is fishing to try to get back together, make her do the work.
Having been here a while I wish they would really just decide and then leave us alone. It becomes a cat playing with a mouse if we even let on that we still miss them. And ironically that drives them away again. Luck.
Thank u Jeff, how long have u been working at this? I agree i feel like a YO Yo of emotions but hide it from her quite well. she has started going to church where i live now which is hour from her house she was attending the church in her town that we both went too but our pastor at are old church in Va where we used to live is now the pastor at a church in the town i live that her parents attend the past 4 weeks she has been coming here which is hour away. thanks again
Im mixed about trying again i would love too. I know she made mistake and wasnt thinking clearly however i cant justify for her the only thing is i would want her back under right reasons and right now i think i would take her back no matter what i might be strong enough to make some kinda step work
Another thing to elaborate on the "she has said some wierd things" is about 2 months ago she until i proved to her that i love her and care about her there is nothing to talk about i though i have but obviously i havent and she is not giving me any hint as to what i need to do here it so draining
well we talked for about an hour last night. She still blames me for everything she argues than blames me saying this is what i do to her and than starts crying she cries everytime we talk. She said its not that doesnt want to be with me but that she cant cause we dont get along than we get off phone and she text me about my dads passing a few months back saying that is so sorry and she misses him so much and she hates that has not been there for me thru this. She also said she will be down here again where i live this weekend which is hour away from her house she has coming down here everyweekend for last few weeks her parents live here to so maybe she is just here to see them everyweekend but bieng me i think she is here to get closer to me im so confused with all this i think i should just give up im tired of her pulling me in just to tell me she wants me but cant
Sorry to hear that you are in this position. My advice is to take things slow....are you going to counciling? That might help having a therapist help to move things along in a direction and will help to clean out the crap that is going on.
CIAZ M 7/97 S 5/05 D 8/06 Both 33 years old No kids
Thank you i was going to counsling for 8 months by myself now i go once a month. i have read your sitch and can relate to u alot except my ex is playing games instead of bieng honest with me part of me really thinks she hasnt emotionally detached from me as my counselor says but other part of me says its in my head i just dont think i could really read into this that much where im completely wrong i mean she calls all the time and is always checking on me
