I know I am somewhat new here and this may sound so naive - but everytime I read a new thread from someone who I havent read before I am astonished how many quotes are coming from their spouses in MLC all are alike - including my H's It is amazing to me - like they all got a dose of the same kool - aid
Then as I read I see a familiar, reasonable, and so full of good advice post from Lisset and and Grace and I say Thank God for this board
Moon Dog - hang in there. My H is home and I have a very bad habit of trying to interpret everything he says and does - it just drives me more nuts and at times it causes me to really lose it
He actually told me last week that he doesnt like when I act 'all happy' because he thinks I'm trying to convince him to stay and I'm putting on an act - then 2 mins later he said he cant stand it when I'm upset that he feels that its putting pressure on him my response - what the hell do you want me to do ? I dont know how to behave when someone rips a whole in my world? and with that - I decided that trying to reason with a crazy person is making me crazy - even when its for a 5 min conversation - sooooo I to back to acting as if - "how was your day' , did you see the score of the ball game?, look at the dog - isnt she cute ? etc etc we are finally having good weather this weekend - made plans with my D tomorrow - thoughth about asking H to do something together - decided not to - I'll detach a bit - make more plans on Sunday with my sister or some friends - maybe watch the yankess sox game ! and will be in wait and see mode
me - 47 H - 50 /49 when bomb happened Daughter 17 years old married 21 years together 26 years Bomb August 06 H still at home 'I love you but not in love with you'
they all got the same MLC 101 Verbage course on the mothership.......
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
Moondog...as long as it is only Lissi eand Grace you are proposing to...(sniff) I guess I'll just go lay in a fetal position in the corner.... (sniff sniff)
I went out to see a friend's band play and had the wrong night! So here I am, home early, sitting on my can wondering if I can expect to see her home at all tonight (Or rather, this morning.).
I couldn't hit the local hangouts, since my "Friend" usually hits one or all of them on a regular basis.
I might be inclined to trouble if I see him out.
Don't need that.
The wife was pleasant this afternoon after our throw-down. I don't know if it was to keep peace, or that getting some stuff off her chest had a cathartic effect.
Either way, the ring discovery was still a pleasant surprise, and I'll take it as a good sign for the sake of allowing myself to feel better. Anything I can get.
This loneliness right now is nearly unbearable. I couldn't even GAL tonight when I tried! Geez...
I almost went to the place where she is right now, but resisted the urge. I wanted to see the band there as well, but I don't want to be imposing or give the appearance that I am checking up.
Gotta let go, right?
I did get in a decent, albeit short motorcycle ride in the process, though. It was cold, but a so-so time on the bike is better than a good night on the couch anytime.
Argue your limitations and sure enough, they are yours. - Richard Bach
He didn't have to push the rock up the hill, but it never occurred to him. Instead, he was compelled to do so by those in whom he believed.
Would he have experienced the same satisfaction had he simply left the rock in the place where it came to rest each morning? Would he have been able to experience his eternity in a different manner, or would he simply have been punished in some other way?
I have a compulsion to push the rock. Perhaps it's because I don't see any other way. There are other possibilities, yet I still toil at this seemingly unfulfillable task. Is it fear of a different, more dreadful punishment, or is it because I fear the possibilities that I cannot predict?
Argue your limitations and sure enough, they are yours. - Richard Bach
I have a compulsion to push the rock. Perhaps it's because I don't see any other way. There are other possibilities, yet I still toil at this seemingly unfulfillable task. Is it fear of a different, more dreadful punishment, or is it because I fear the possibilities that I cannot predict?
I wonder if all that I feel is b/c of fear, but perhaps it has nothing to do with fear at all. These are the people we love and we used to dream with. To have that torn from us in such a cold and calculated way (regarless of how they may really be feeling)is painful. Moving the rock is a way to ease the pain and to be doing SOMETHING. You don't need to be punished, you have been human. That and all that comes with it should be cherished. As you are here and will be again to someone who loves you. I promise.
Actually Grace, I have a buddy who is tugging at my heart strings to ride out there at the end of May. I have to look at my work obligations first, but I am considering it. Iowa gets pretty boring for riding territory. I haven't seen CA in years either. Was born in Anaheim.
I am heading out on it soon. Plan to spend today riding if I can get away with it. My wife took off with a friend however, and I may have to pick my son up for his break at work. She manages to do this to me pretty much every Saturday.
It must be nice not to have responsibilities.
Last edited by MoonDog; 04/21/0704:38 PM.
Argue your limitations and sure enough, they are yours. - Richard Bach
Nice that she wore her rings. Or maybe she tossed them in her purse, or whatever.
We don't know. And, not worth pondering. B/c they could be back off tomorrow.
Also, I know you're looking of signs of decency (or shreds anyway!), but remember that things she does/doesn't do, have little to do with decency or signs that she still thinks of others....in my experience, they are flukes...they come and go.
Not to be discouraging, but it's actually a safer place to stand when you feel that the signs of decency are pulled out yet again.
They have nothing to do with her loving or not loving you. They have everything to do with this wild ride she is determined to be on.
I think it's a lot harder when you're living with them...I did that for about 9 months and as I look back now, it was so hard. The nights alone when H was "out" and the constant behavior.
Hang in there. Create a safe space for you and your son.
