Did I mention that several times during the trip, when we were sailing to remote islands, you could look in all directions and see no land, not even a hint. That was a new experience for me. It sort of bonded us somehow, knowing that we had to depend on each other with no one else around. It was a unique experience.
I got so many compliments from my husband about how good of "seaman" I was (meaning that I could coil up some ropes). Also, I winched him up to the top of the mast (so he could do a repair)and that made him realize just how handy a wife could be on a boat. We both miss having someone to rely on for practical help.
Deb
Joy and Sorrow...when one sits alone with you at your board, remember the other is asleep upon your bed. ~Kahlil Gibran
Me: 46 H: 45 Married: 5.0+ years Bomb: May 17, 2006 0 living children, 2 babies in heaven 1 dog, 2 cats
Did I say "I'm ready"? Ready for what? My H has mentioned wanting to try IVF several (make that many) times over the past few months.
OK, let's recap: He took off without notice over a year ago. He's living on a boat on the east coast and plans on going back to school (in the east) for a career change. I live in an apt in STL, while taking care of 2 properties in CO (the 2nd of which was his idea). I take care of the dog and 2 cats (2/3 of which were his idea). He takes care of the boat, which was his idea.
So now he wants to start a family under these conditions????? I am totaly and completely perplexed.
He didn't want to do IVF when we both lived in the same house, said it was a last resort. So I guess we are @ the last resort now.
He did mention making arrangements to live together should the IVF work (that is sooo kind of him - to want to live with his wife and children!!). Of course, it is not wise to want kids to "save" the marriage. But that appears to be what he is telling me (I think). He keeps saying he would not have left if there was a "family" involved. But, I reminded him that I **am** his family.
Perhaps I started this whole thing. I did mention to him that when the house sells, I planned to use the proceeds to do IVF on my own if he were still floating around aimlessly on the boat. And I would do that. But with him back in the picture now does add a new wrinkle.
Deb
Joy and Sorrow...when one sits alone with you at your board, remember the other is asleep upon your bed. ~Kahlil Gibran
Me: 46 H: 45 Married: 5.0+ years Bomb: May 17, 2006 0 living children, 2 babies in heaven 1 dog, 2 cats
Interesting turn of events. Kids do add an entirely new dynamic into an R. Of course bringing human beings into an unstable R, just on the chance that the R will workout, doesn't sound smart. And interestingly, despite being enirely unenthusiastic about the prospects of us living together again as a family, my H talks a whole lot about trying for another baby as soon as he's home on leave.
I'd say something wise that puts reason to these wacked out guys...but I can't think of anything. Doesn't help that I would really like to have another baby. Except for that whole single parent of TWO young children thing.
Atleast for my H, I can say, he often just speaks out of pure emotion, whatever he happens to be thinking at the time, and you usually can't take anything he says at face value.
The two of you sailing beyond site of land, with only each other to depend on...sigh :). Some relationships would work that way, like maybe the ones we're in. And then other couples who would return from that trip with one less person. Unfortunately, those couples who would survive the trip might be least likely to survive in the real world with all those pesky outside factors messing up their perfect harmony.
Interesting turn of events. Kids do add an entirely new dynamic into an R. Of course bringing human beings into an unstable R, just on the chance that the R will workout, doesn't sound smart. And interestingly, despite being enirely unenthusiastic about the prospects of us living together again as a family, my H talks a whole lot about trying for another baby as soon as he's home on leave.
Well, I'm glad to hear that someone else is in the same boat, so to speak. What is going through their heads?!?!?!
My sailor/husband is dropping in this weekend (not to long ago, he was a "droplet" after being a dropout for 6 months). This will be his first trip inland (that I know of) since he started on this sailboat adventure over a year ago. Yes, he is having his cake and eating it, too. But, oh well. I will enjoy the company and the dog will love to see him, too.
Cheers, Deb
Joy and Sorrow...when one sits alone with you at your board, remember the other is asleep upon your bed. ~Kahlil Gibran
Me: 46 H: 45 Married: 5.0+ years Bomb: May 17, 2006 0 living children, 2 babies in heaven 1 dog, 2 cats
...You'll need more from him later. But if you're OK for now, hey, take joy from life where you can, right?
Yes, that's right. We enjoyed the weekend.
I took the dog to the airport to pick him up. When my H got in the truck, the dog sniffed like I had never seen him sniff before and then jumped into the front seat and started licking his face like mad - couldn't stop licking!! What a fun welcome that was!!
It was like we were dating again...dressing up to go out to eat. We even made a toast to the new marriage.
There was one tense moment that night, when we attempted to discuss one issue, a big issue. We really need to build up more good times before delving into the bad. I knew that and I knew I knew that.
Here are my husbands requests of me:
1) Wear trendier clothes 2) Wear more make up 3) Have a date night once a week
I think I can do this.
Deb
Joy and Sorrow...when one sits alone with you at your board, remember the other is asleep upon your bed. ~Kahlil Gibran
Me: 46 H: 45 Married: 5.0+ years Bomb: May 17, 2006 0 living children, 2 babies in heaven 1 dog, 2 cats
