Ok, she's already mad. So what have you got to lose by saying somthing like you're sorry for what she's going through, but does she actually think you would like this guy? Does she expect you two to be best buds? Ok, so you think he's a "Dick" you understand that she's hurting and needs to find herself, but that you "get it" that she isn't coming home. Reassure her you don't have "false hope". However, keep your real hope like the precious flame that it is and keep your expectations to zero.....
Well as you know for the past few weeks I have been picking up my son from school and then going back to W's for a couple of hours and having a couple of beers and even dinner on a few occasions.
Tonight I am due to pick Sam up and had a message from W saying that she does not think it's a good idea that I spend time round at hers anymore as it could being sending me the wrong signals!!
She said just because she has called a halt with DD she should not be substituting that time with me!!
I think she needs the time alone to figure out what she really wants. Let DD be the one that gets upset and clingy. You be the bigger one that gives her space. She doesn't know what it will be like without you until you let her try it. No more picking S up.....no more at her beck and call on the end of a text....
It's the hardest thing you'll ever do. And when you have young kids it's even harder. I'm having trouble with it myself even though my common sense tells me it's the right thing.
Me 36 ring on H 41 ring off S2 Together since 1992 Married: 2000 Bomb Aug 06 H moved out Oct 06 (and straight in with OW)
I had been at the park for about 20 minutes last night when I got a text saying 'you might as well come back here as normal tonight as I don't think you understood my message'
I got back to hers and had a drink, and she told me that she is so confused by what she wants and that we get on so well but she does not know where it is going. After chats with her friends and parents apparently they have told her that she is sending 'mixed signals' and that if she wants to get back with me either do it or don't. That is where her message came from I think.
Well to be honest I am losing my patience, she said she has been really happy the last few weeks that we have spent so much time together and the next second says we should not see eachother so much!!!! WTF!
It's called confusion. I doubt she really knows what she wants and the fact that friends and family are telling her to decide isn't helping.
Patience is the one thing you have to have or develop to do this. I'm not particularly patient by nature, and this rocks me constantly. I don't know what to expect (so expect nothing) b/c he says he's done and wants a D yet to my knowledge he's done nothing to move it forward.
I know that's not what you want to hear, it's just the way it is. I don't htink her need for space has changed any. Remember she has to figure this out. Others can't do it for her.
RIGHT! I am fed up of pussyfooting around all this sh1t! W has for the last 3 nights found excuses that I am round there each night as I have been for past 4 weeks and then says this is all wrong and she cannot justify not seeing DD when she is seeing so much of me. I so much want to tell her that I LOVE HER but know this is so wrong so forgive my rant!!!!!!!!!!!
Rant away. This is the place to do it. Don't pussyfoot. have you read the book "You don't have to take it anymore"? It deals with walking on eggshells and how to stop. It's helped me some.
