Well, I am convinced H has slipped and busted what little bit of his brain he has left.
He was at the house the other night visiting the kids so I gave him his time with them....since he doesn't come over much...and he isn't there to see me anyways. Before he left, I gave him some of the paperwork that the lawyer had given me for a dissolution. I told him that we could go this route if we could agree to everything. He said "You know that I will give you as much money as I can." I looked at him and said "It isn't about the money. It is about the visitation. It will not be shared parenting." At that point, his head exploded. Asking me why not.....well duh?!!?!? What court is going to allow 3 kids under the age of 6 to spend time with 2 people that are obviously a few fries short of a happy meal?!!?? I looked at him and said "Why not shared parenting!??! She has already tried suicide while you were on the phone with me, she is a drunk and she has trespassed....Do i need to go on?" So he begins defending her and saying that she has started going to AA and has a sponsor and has been sober for a month. Well, woopdeedoo!!!!!!! So he basically said he will fight me tooth and nail so that he can have the kids. Instead of talking to me like an adult and trying to plead his case, he showed me the real reason that I can't be with him anymore. He has completely lost his mind.
I reminded him of how he has had every opportunity to come see the kids as much as he likes during the past 7 months and she shows up once or twice a week for a few hours at the most.
Right before he left and while he was threatening to drag this out in court for years, I told him that this is his doing. He is the one that chose this route and he is the one that walked out and abandoned his family. At that point, he said "I don't want to talk about it now." I am going to copyright that phrase for him because that is what he always says.....but then he stormed out the door.
So needless to say, I am pissed. I think I would be ok if in fact he had his own place and could make sure that the kids would not be with her 24/7....but that isn't likely to happen seeing that he can't seem to take care of himself.
I tried to talk to him last night for a few minutes. I told him that we need to sit down and discuss this like adults. That it isn't about us anymore. It is about what is best for the kids. It isn't about who is the better parent, it is about where they will be safe. He can't guarantee me that she won't go psycho again......
So anyways, that is my little update for now....but I am still doing well.
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
Hi, I have been following your saga and it is alot like mine in the attitude that the x is showing. I agree, they have fallen and hit their heads; unfortunately not hard enough. Like you I've had it and I'm not going to be anyone's doormat anymore. They just don't seem to get it that this is the life they, not we, have chosen for themselves. With choices come consequences. Like you if my wife of 17 years wanted to have an R conversation then that would be a conversation we would have; until than she can live her life as she chooses and I am going to live mine as I coose. Good luck and don't let the child that your H is get to you.
Nothing new going on....same old sitch just a different day. STBXH's appearances at the house are becoming fewer and farther between. Apparently this OW has consumed his life and his kids mean little to him. I don't really care what he says...him not showing up in days proves alot to me. I have not heard from him since last Thursday. So it has been 6 days since he has seen his 3 kids.....what a whack job!
But I am doing fine...and that is all that matters!!!!!
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
I am actually doing great. I think the biggest reason that I fought so hard to keep this so called M together was because I was afraid that I would end up being alone....but I have realized that isn't it at all. So I am actually looking forward to getting this divorce/dissolution over with so that I can enjoy taking my time to find that next special person...if that makes any sense.
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
Honestly..I wouldn't waste my time running him over...oops, visiting him. I want him to live a long and miserable life. I want him to see how lonely his life is going to be without his kids, wife, and family.
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
The kids are great. S5 has lost his first 2 baby teeth, D4 is learning more sign language at preschool and S7months is crawling around like a pro. He will be walking soon and STBXH will miss that too! Too bad!
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
