Thanks for checking on me. I try to get on this board every few days and catch up on everyone's thread.
My sitch is still crazy. It has always been one of the crazier roller-coaster rides.
First of all, H went to court two weeks ago and pleaded no contest. He was put on two years probation and ordered to attend alcohol rehab classes (finally!!). Unfortunately, that's about the only good news I have to report.
I think when I last posted, H had begun to cycle more rapidly. He had been calling every few days and telling me he wanted to come home. He said we would start our reconciliation through more frequent phone contact. That lasted all of two phone calls. However, he did contact his lawyer about delaying the divorce. As of right now, it has not been rescheduled.
After the last phone call, three weeks went by with no contact. I figured he needed to back off, as MLCers tend to do when they think they are getting too close. So, H called last Monday night, quiet and depressed. Again (like usual), he couldn't / wouldn't talk much. He did admit that he loved me (only me) and still wanted to work things out. Nothing was said that was threatening in any way. Suddenly we lost our connection, so I waited a minute and called him back. This is how it went:
Me (teasing): "Hey, H, I thought for a minute you hung up on me".
H: "I did".
Me (stunned): Why?????
H: "I can't talk to you anymore".
Me (still stunned): "As in tonight, or never?"
H: "Never".
I was shocked, hurt and angry .. so I hung up on him. It was like I was in the middle of a twilight zone movie. However, my son drove by his house the following day and H was still in town instead of at work. I could be wrong, but I think the girl-child OW walked in on him talking to me so he hung up the phone. If that's what happened, it makes me even more angry with him.
So, I'm back to "does he? doesn't he?", but I'm caring less and less every day.
OTOH, they still haven't moved into H's new house. I had told him last month that if she moved in, we wouldn't have a snowball's chance of making it. It was a boundary I meant and I think he knew it.
Wow.. That's one messed up puppy. Val, please stay away from him for now. He is really in a whole other world and he has NO clue which end is up. Yikes. He's spinning and spinning. Down and down.
Put your faith in God right now. You don't have the answers, so you need to have faith that He does. We're here for you.
Married 9 years Kids 5 and 6 Bomb 2006 H back and forth for a year M now back on track
I have been trying hard not to let H drag me back into his chaos anymore. It is enough to drive anybody crazy, especially after almost two years of it. The thing that confuses me, his depression seems to be getting worse instead of better. I saw and heard glimpses of the "old" H last year, but really nothing since last August.
H has been in MLC since 2003. I just wonder what's really going on with him.
Val, thanks for updating and letting us know that you're OK.
I'm so sorry at the turn of events. I guess we all hope, somewhere deep within, for that magical "OMG" moment that these morons might have.
But, as with everything MLC-related, it's just one big mess, whether it works out or not.
And, much to our surprise, we wake up, day after day, caring less and less, and less able to tolerate the madness as we gain more normalcy back into our lives.
I suspect that you have built a nice life, though sad without old H, that even thinking of OW, legal and financial issues and all the madness, just doesn't fit into your life now.
I guess that's what it comes down to. In the beginning, THEY felt that WE did not fit into their "new" lives....and I guess we didn't. Then, as time goes on, and we build lives, we see that the new alien they are doesn't fit into our lives.
I recently had my first face to face with H (in 10 months), and it was weird...he was weird. Nice, fairly normal, but still off. My predominant thought, at times, was just wanting to go home to my space/peace....
Hang in there Val. Regardless of H, you sound like you're in a fairly good place, and you have always had your ducks in a row with legal/financial stuff with the D.
I am glad you are doing okay. I am glad you are not letting your h get to you. I think you are right when you say that the ow probably walked in on his conversation with you. Aren't they all cowards????
Always said it best....you will be fine with or without your h. You are in a good place.
I still have not given up on your h. He is still going round in circles but eventually he will have to stop!!!
Another thing I think is good is that he has to get help for his drinking! This might help clear his head some!!!
I haven't seen my H since last August (almost 8 months). I know that it would be depressing and discouraging to see the man he is right now. Like you, I think I would just want to escape to my safe place.
My H is one of those men who will continue to drag his feet and find himself at the bottom of life when he does eventually wake up .. a pathetic man "sitting on a barstool holding a tattered photo album of the days he thought were so unhappy".
Always, I will be okay no matter what happens with my situation with H .. just like you will be okay.
