I have not been on in a long time, and had to come up with a new name (shorter version of my old one. I see some of you have been asking about me on MTN's forum, so I decided to pop in and give an update.
MLC is crazy. Life has taken me to places that I wouldn't want my worst enemies to go. My H (yes, he is "still" my H), is finally out of the tunnel and getting back his life. It has been a slow and painful process and I have hung in there every step of the way. (Not sure why......but none the less I am still here)
Let me start by saying that we are NOT together, but we are friends.........maybe working on the together part. More on that later.
As for me, EVERYONE, get a life. I have moved on. I sold our marital house, I got a job, (actually 2), and I started to not care. These MLC'ers can NOT be helped or saved by ANYONE, so best to let them swing and take the ride alone. My children and I sold everything. We started completely fresh in a brand new house, with brand new stuff. We are very much at peace with our lives.
My H is starting to understand the impact of his actions. Those that knew me know that he and the OW (he had 2) had a tumultuous (sp?), Nasty relationship. She held on to him with every claw in her body. She faked 2 pregnancies, got arrested for DWI, talked about suicide, spent time in rehab, and stalked my children and I.....all to hold onto a relationship that was based on lies and deceptions. H finally saw through her, but it took him nearly 3+ years......
At any rate, I just want to say for those standers, there is HOPE. I know my H regrets his actions. He just doesn't know how to make things right at the moment. He does not live with us. But, he comes here everynight for dinner, and spends every waking hour with us on the weekends. We are not intimate...a lot of damage to erase, and I am closely guarded with him. We are trying to put our lives back together, but more time will tell.
At any rate, I just want to say for those standers, there is HOPE. I know my H regrets his actions. He just doesn't know how to make things right at the moment. He does not live with us. But, he comes here everynight for dinner, and spends every waking hour with us on the weekends. We are not intimate...a lot of damage to erase, and I am closely guarded with him. We are trying to put our lives back together, but more time will tell.
Welcome back, SA4, and thank you for the post. For me, at least, it was timely.
I appreciate the constant reminder to GAL, to live fully and as happily as possible with S14, friends and family. H is on his own journey.
I also appreciate your comment that your H has regrets. Until very recently, I did not believe that about my H. But I am coming to see it in his eyes. He is still pushing hard for the D, and he is going to get the D very soon. But I am coming to believe that he has regrets nonetheless. He just doesn't seem to be able to move in any direction other than the D path he has chosen.
Enough about me. Thanks for the two important reminders. You sound very peaceful, and I'm glad of it.
I have been waiting for your update and I am so glad that your h is out of the tunnel. So it has two meanings. I am so happy for you. You have moved on nicely and your h is slowly waking up.
I know how important it is to share past experiences. This has been a challenging road for me, and if not for my faith, I would have been divorced and gone a long time ago. I still can't guarantee that it won't end this way, but at least I have peace that I tried my hardest, gave it my all and tried to do the right thing. I've lost patience with my husbands poor behavior and life choices. I think he is still lost and still has a long way to go. He needs to grow up, and I don;t think some of these MLC'ers are capable of that. I do think they regret their actions, but are still unwilling to make right what they did wrong.
I just found out that H is still talking to OW......as friends!! Needless to say, I expressed my unhappiness with him and told him it was totally unacceptable. She is married and "still misses" him according to him, and he told me he was helping her through "yet" another crisis. He wouldn't tell me and I told him I didn't really want to know. So, you see, it still is not over......
I'm doing great, yes, getting a life is key. I am so busy with my own life, new job, new head coaching position, new house, that I can't worry about his latest drama....
Hello- Thanks for stopping by. I have been so busy, that I rarely have time to post. My kids are sick, so I have some free time.
The journey has not ended, it's just more peaceful. I can honestly say that I have very few feelings for my H. He looks great, and has been a big part of our lives lately, but there is more of a brother-sister relationship between us than a H-W! I don't think I have many feelings left for him anymore. He is still inmature, self centered and self absorbed. He is not engaged in life, not mine, not the kids and not even his own. He seems to lack any kind of passion.
I jsut found out that he still talks to OW, and you can imagine how that went over. It's like he is trying to save her..... I have a zero tolerance level when it comes to her.
So, how are you? I'll have to pop over and check on you...
I don't think he is trying to save OW, I think he is trying to keep her around in the event he loses everything else!
My H told S16 in January that he is afraid that his punishment will be that he loses all of us AND OW. I have no words for that at the moment.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
You could be right!! What an awful thought, to think a person would give up everything for such a whore!! I'd rather be alone for an eternity than to be with someone who is as manipulative and crazy as this woman!!
