This can be the most challenging time for you...I know how hard that is to believe...but you will question yourself, H, and your actions a lot as you both give that second chance...just stay committed...and if you need anything....well, just ask...I am here....
Take care....Lin
Oh, it is cooler...still some hot days but not like it was...that was making me physically sick!
This can be the most challenging time for you...I know how hard that is to believe...but you will question yourself, H, and your actions a lot as you both give that second chance...
How right you are. I want to stay committed. I am not even with H yet and I already ask myself whether I can trust him that he really wants to give us a second chance or is it only for financial reasons. He was hurt when I asked him that, but I am so insecure. If you read on my thread you might understand why.
How long did it take you to fully trust H? - Thanks for your reply, if possible on my thread. Take care.
I questioned this very thing...you see H was so in debt...he wasn't working...and was physically ill...so I wondered if he returned because he had no where else to go...or was it because he wanted to be home...he told me he wanted to be home because he had friends that he could go to...he had family that would take him in but he chose to come home...and it wasn't as if he wanted to come home right at that time either...he was still willing to take the time to make sure we were ready...
How long did it take to fully trust H again???....sometimes I still have doubts...like when I found old emails (but still after he was home) from/to OW...sometimes what he says about things doesn't make sense to me...but as far as OW...or anyone else I am doing good there...it is just a gut feeling that things are really okay!...he is still healing a lot from his emotional wounds...his depression is getting better...he has done so good with his alcohol recovery...he had one slip in a year and that was 9 months ago...
I will check out your thread when I get a chance...but till then take care...Lin
Hi ImLIN, Thanks for your reply. I see that it will take a long time until I can fully trust H again, if ever!!!
I am glad that your H is doing so well with his alcohol recovery, and the depression and healing getting better. We just have to be so patient, don't we. Thanks for having a look at my thread, if you have time. Take care.
Oh...I know I will be able to trust H again...if I felt for a moment that I wouldn't be able to trust him again I would have gone through with the divorce...it really does take time and committment on both sides...it is a slow recovery process but all the baby steps are adding up...this creates trust again...
Hi Lin! How are you? Good to read about trust and how to build it again.
Over here things are still the same. OW dumped DH for ten days then they got back together again. DH won't live in the downstairs appartment. He told me almost three weeks ago he was looking for other appartments aswell.
Now he's pushing me to move. He wants me to take a look at an appartment which would be next door to the appartment DH would be living in. I don't feel like doing this. I don't trust his motives. He is in a real bad financial situation. Just now he said that he thought it wise for me to do on an emaotional and financial level. I asked why and he said it would be a clean break for me because there are so many memories in the house I live in. the financial bit didn't add up. the only thing which made sense is there would be less fixing in the appartment.
He told his best friend it over between us. Meanwhile he comes around very often to see DS and wants me to join on outings.
I'm not sure what I want to ask you... Maybe just write... I'm nearly at 16 mo's seperation...
...it really does take time and committment on both sides
That is exactly what I am worried about a bit - the "on both sides". I hope that H will see that he will also have to work and be committed!
Quote:
...it is a slow recovery process but all the baby steps are adding up...this creates trust again...
I am also worried that I will jump into it much too fast and not take it step by step! So I will have to pull myself together and not "wear my heart on the sleave"! - Take care.
you are so strong and have done such an amazing job and I applaud at how far you have come.
Could you please check out my sithch in piecing and see if you think there is anything else i could be doing (or not doing). Im'e so tired and don't know how much longer i can do this even though I know H is trying. Again my best wishes to you and your H.
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
Heading out of town with my family...going to an amusement park and doing some sight seeing...not the norm for most this time of year but it works for us...
I will check in when I return as I don't think I will have internet while I am gone...
