It's that time of the month again where RRH is around the corner messing up my W's mind transformaing her to a Ms Hyde. Yes, she's ignoring me, speaks only when spoken to (in mono-syllables eg Yes & No, Irritable, moody & sulking etc...... :(. Anyway, what I dont understand is that why is she displaying all these PMS 'tantrums' at moi???? She behaves ok when she's with her friends, family members and with the kids. She jokes with them, laughs, plays with the kids but when I make my appearance, she seems to direct all her PMS fury at me and ignores me. Yes, I'm non-existent for the time being.
What bugs me is that if it is normal for women to have such PMS symptoms, then shouldnt they behave the same towards everyone???
Why is it that us men (BFs and Hs) are usually the prime targets, whipping boys, punching bags for them to offload/hurl their PMS fury at us pitiful men ??
My only strategy (not if its the right one though) is just to avoid her, keep a distance and maintain minimal comms till she's better.
I have shared this with some of my female friends and they are quite surprised with her PMS behavior. Yes, they do have them but they look at it as a matter of self-restraint during that time of month. Failure to manage it could lead to misunderstandings and arguments amongst colleagues and friends.
she's 42....and why shouldnt i distance myself? The vibes she gives out to me is extremely negative and I just dont wanna be in the way. What's the point when someone builds a wall around herself and giving you the vibes that she's not in the mood for comms & hugs. If she wants to be alone by herself and needs the space, then I just have to give way right? I used to ask her why she feels this way but her usual answer was - "You men dont understand what's it like to be a woman".
This has been her common response whenever I ask about her PMS personality, her monthly headaches and body aches that comes after her period. I wish I could do more to help her overcome all this but at this point, I'm quite helpless to tell the truth.
You know why they call it PMS? Because "mad cow disease" was already taken.
Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.
I can't offer any thoughts on PMS because I've never really had it. H told me in the past that he saw no discernable difference in me regardless of where I was in my cycle.
What I find really concerning is seeing women and men in "us vs. them" camps. And I'm honestly trying to understand how a man can so desire a woman who, when not having sex with him, annoys the crap out of him and hurts him deeply. If she's that awful, why would he love her and want to be with her? Either he's a glutton for punishment, or she's not quite that awful.
I do understand that much of this is venting. I do. And I'm sorry that you are in pain because of your situation.
And love-wanted, I find the reference to a woman's monthly menstrual cycle as "Red Riding Hood" to be very disrespectful. Then again, maybe I'm just oversensitive or have no sense of humor. I'm still trying to figure that out.
And there's that word again -- respect. I think a lot of our respective issues come down to lack of respect for one another, for who we are, for ourselves, for our partners.
If hormones give permisson to call you names this is good because I have a lot of testosterone this morning.
You ball less passive yelow bellied coward good for nothing chicken gutless-wonder scaredy cat browbeaten spineless submissive weak vacillating piece of meat why do allow her to treat you like this?
My 2censts stop distancing yourself when she is misstreating you. Establish a boundary that you will not permit being mistreated for any reason.
And love-wanted, I find the reference to a woman's monthly menstrual cycle as "Red Riding Hood" to be very disrespectful. Then again, maybe I'm just oversensitive or have no sense of humor.
I did not mean it in a disrespectful way. Apologies to all the women out here in this forum who were offended. It's just my weird sense of humor (if any)....that's all * peace *
Establish a boundary that you will not permit being mistreated for any reason.
1st, my thanks to you for the colorful compliments. Sure did learn a word or two from yr rich vocab. Ok, pray tell me how to go about doing that without aggravating the current situation we are in. I sensed that you are good at establishing such boundaries with "your woman". Can you teach me a thing or 2, o wise one?
Could you talk to her about this when she's not hormonal?Hairdog
Yes, I did and many times. Her response? See 1st post..... "you just dont understand what a woman is going thru...blah, blah....." The usual standard mother-of all statements!
The problem is she doesnt understand what a man goes thru when he's with such a person......sigh.
Quote: ------------------------------------------------------ She jokes with them, laughs, plays with the kids but when I make my appearance, she seems to direct all her PMS fury at me and ignores me. Yes, I'm non-existent for the time being.
What bugs me is that if it is normal for women to have such PMS symptoms, then shouldnt they behave the same towards everyone??? ------------------------------------------------------
Why don't you ask your wife why she treats others differently than you during her cycle?
Next time she treats you badly, call her on it and tell her that she can either treat you with respect or take it into another room where she can be alone.
If she can treat others with respect during her cycle, she can do the same for you.
All the best, -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
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