I thought I would start a new thread with the current state of the situation.
Here goes...
He has moved out. Living alone in another property we own together. We have not separated anything, he has asked for 2 weeks of no contact. It is difficult but I have not called, emailed or texted. This is the hardest thing in the world!!!
from the very last thread:
So I have to ask everyone:
Do you all still wear your ring? I refuse to take mine off, I am still married and committed.
Are you dating? Some have suggested that I go out on dinner dates. I don't want to nor think that it's correct. I understand that my H will date or has OW but I am not open to it. How can I claim to want to save my marriage and do what he is doing?
Do you all still wear your ring? I refuse to take mine off, I am still married and committed. Are you dating? Some have suggested that I go out on dinner dates. I don't want to nor think that it's correct. I understand that my H will date or has OW but I am not open to it. How can I claim to want to save my marriage and do what he is doing?
You answered both those as I answered them. I told Sweetheart's sister I would continue to wear it if divorced because I was refusing to recongize a divorce.
By golly when I make a promise, I mean it!
But prepare yourself...it gets worse. I'm not talking about getting harder...maybe, maybe not. But he has only just left... MLCers in Replay retreat dn dosconnect more and more. They also cycle...so they may try to return and then leave again...over and over. OR not reutn, but his confusion may be obvious and you will feel as though he's giving false hope...often he doesn't mean to.
Did you ever dream of a weekend retreat where you could be alone...or with girlfriends...? Or time where he would go away and your retreat was at home. MAybe simply a night where he worked late...and you could eat junk food.
Maybe you have decorating dreams...and it's not that he wouldn't like what you want to do...but rather having the house torn apart causes him anxiety...so he really needs to be gone when you do redecorating.
So now is your chance. I knwo it's hard when you keep focusnig on him and the pain is so raw... it will get better. Think of the things you can now do while he is gone. Things that will help you to grow and become stronger...this is your journey too.
You need to do what you feel is right for you. I wore my ring for months after he left until I realized that he was not wearing his. I took it off for good in September. I actually bought a new ring (rings) for my right hand that have my kids' birthstones in them. I have not gone out on a date because I just couldn't do it. I did have coffee once with a man but there was no attraction. IMO it is probably too soon. Instead of dates start doing something you want to do for you, take a class or join a group, that way you will be out with other people. Remember if this is MLC you have a long road ahead of you.
Me 45 H 51 married 15 yrs D 13, S's 10,8 bomb 1-06, moved out 3-06 filed for D, 7-06,10-06,11-06,12-06 3-07, asked to try again 6-07 D on hold D process restarted 10-07 now trying to reconcile!
