Hi. Back from the interview. Didn't get the job which I'm ok about (quite philosophical)especially as I felt quite confident in the way I performed. Under the circumstances that was pretty good.
W was very interested to find out how I was getting on and sent me very suportive texts telling me I was brilliant etc. Surprised me somewhat as it was the first time she's been like that towards me for months. Yesterday when I still hadn't heard she texted me a few times to find out what was happening. I actually felt yesterday that I was going to get it and she seemed stand offish and formal when I told her this. When I found out this morning I hadn't got it I texted her and her response seemed to show relief.
She was probably very concerned about losing so much contact with D but I'd also like to think she didn't want to lose me either. Who knows?
HI JBF, You've gone a little quiet. I hope that's a good thing. Hope you're well.
I followed you over to OutaLuck's thread and have been posting there. If you can make some time, can you post on his again too? I think his sitch and yours are more similar than his and mine. I think you could give him some much needed help. Thanks.
M45, W45,S15, D10, Bomb 10/3/06, Moved back in 11/6/06, finally ILY 9/07 last thread
Hi. Yes, LiN I guess I do feel quiet or a least a bit pensive. I think that seeing the possibilities in this new job has opened my eyes a bit to the future. And I know I'm going to be ok. It was good to meet new people at the interview and I managed to turn on a bit of charm which has been lacking of late.Good for the old PMA.
Saw W yesterday for the first time in a fortnight. She really seemed to be making an effort with me. She patted my arm affectionately and said how much D had reminded her of me when she'd taken her out, again affectionately. I have reason to think she hadn't seen OM again this weekend (possibly off playing golf as she said he often did). She actually seemed a bit lost at times, especially when she realised D and I were going to the pictures in the afternoon and as she said, she had no plans (I don't think it was a hint for an invitation, just a statement of fact). At other times she seemed ok and relatively normal.
After she went she texted me to say thanks for letting her have so long with D. She hasn't done that before. She seeemed much more human and less cold than she has been of late. Maybe the prospect of me getting the job and taking D away scared her a bit. Anyway, I'm not taking any of it to heart as nothing really has changed.
Just put in another job application and the sun is shining. I'm ok.
I agree with LN that our sitch's are quite similar. Amazing isn't it...Sometimes I don't even think I have to post...just change names on some other post and put that up...maybe even come up with a form letter LOL.
You seem to be in a good place and dealing with W in a good way....keep it up....confidence wins most often :-)
M41 W36 D19 D17 Married 20 Years Bomb Dropped Feb 14,2007...Our Anniversary and Valentines Day
I agree with LN that our sitch's are quite similar. Amazing isn't it...Sometimes I don't even think I have to post...just change names on some other post and put that up...maybe even come up with a form letter LOL.
You seem to be in a good place and dealing with W in a good way....keep it up....confidence wins most often :-)
M41 W36 D19 D17 Married 20 Years Bomb Dropped Feb 14,2007...Our Anniversary and Valentines Day
Had a really good few days feeling very detached, positive, forward thinking, etc. etc. Then I saw W on Wednesday evening and I went several steps backwards...
W had come to see D and I tried to miss her by coming home late. She was still there, however. I'd had some nice text messages from her earlier in the week asking how I was, saying 'take care' etc. In one she even apologised for the upset she'd caused D which she's not done before. The good thing about these messages was that they really hadn't affected me one way or another.
Anyway, on Wednesday I happened to mention that I was trying to book a holiday for me and D over Easter and told her where I was thinking of going. She became anxious and said 'I'm going there on Sunday'. She didn't say who she was going with but her anxiety would suggest very strongly that it's with OM.
This really cut me up because in our 20 years together we did a lot of travelling and this was a really big part of our lives together. And now she's going away with him. It sucks. I struggled yesterday but feel a bit calmer about it today but it still hurts really badly.
As for how she seemed on Wednasday, my Mum hit the nail on the head when she said she seems lifeless and emotionless, even with D. For me it seems like she's on auto pilot, going through the motions. When she gets lively with D it feels forced and false. One thing that really attracted me to my W was how genuine she was. Genuine is the last thing she seems at the moment.
Is this consistent with what other people have seen from their S 7 months in to replay?
Hey JBF, just a quick note. Remember, I don't really know squat, especially about MLC, but.... I'll tell you my opinion anyway.
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Had a really good few days feeling very detached, positive, forward thinking, etc
good for you. Don't stop working on this.
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The good thing about these messages was that they really hadn't affected me one way or another
and again, Yay, keep it up.
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This really cut me up because in our 20 years together we did a lot of travelling
and the rest. There are always going to be things, incidents, momentoes, other things, that will be unfair, hurt like hell, through you off or even back to that panic state. Fight it. Let the feeling flow right through and over you, then let it go. It means nothing. It can't hurt you anymore than you let it. You can't control her. Don't let her affect you.
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my Mum hit the nail on the head when she said she seems lifeless and emotionless, even with D.
Still trying to figure her out? Still hoping to see signs of remorse, and possibly reconciliation? Again, just MHO, but I think that kind of thinking won't get you anywhere. You can have hope, if you want, that someday it'll work out, but don't attach meaning to any actions, facial expressions, comments, anything. You don't and can't know what they mean.
But, hope you're doing OK these days. Every day of survival is a victory, no? Time is on our side.
M45, W45,S15, D10, Bomb 10/3/06, Moved back in 11/6/06, finally ILY 9/07 last thread
Hi. Been away for a while, on holiday and then at another interview (didn't get this one either, but am ok with that).
Update: I'm doing pretty well, I think. Keeping busy and dwelling on things much less. Really enjoying lots of quality time with D. She is hard work at times but a real joy. Felt more positive about the possibility of moving away than I did for the previous interview a month ago, so progress has definitely been made.The sunshine here at the moment definitely helps!
Re R. Because we were away, W hasn't seen D in 3 weeks. She texted me to say how badly she was missing her. She did this immediately she got back from her week's holiday in the sun with OM. She seems much keener to make an effort with D and has been apologetic about the trauma she's caused her, the first time really she's acknowledged that. She was keen too to find out how I was getting on at the interview and texted me a few times for an update.
I think with this renewed interest in D she's very scared of us moving 3 hours away. I really am not allowing how she is to affect me in any way and am just letting it wash over me.
Even if she is trying to reconnect with D it doesn't change anything else, though I sense she's also got a renewed impetus to want to be friends with me. I can't really be bothered with being her friend. I have no reason to believe she's not still seeing OM, however their holiday was and I don't want to be second best with her seeing me when he's not available etc. I deserve better.
