Been married 23yrs. Wife told me at xmas she had been having an affair for 2yrs. Had another affair for 3months before this on. Has ended affair and wants to stay together. She has been working hard on the marriage. However, I feel no fidelity towards our marriage now. It has changed me. I also cannot get past her being with these other men. she says in time I will. But, I have not been able to and have contacted a divorce lawyer. I love her, but the visions of her with these other men pop into my head and turn my time with her soar. I also get very angry. Its been about 3 months.
Any help or advice from someone in a similar situation.
Sorry to meet you here, friend. What I would start with is asking whether or not the two of you are getting any joint counseling. Both of you need to understand why the affairs happened. You should do this whether you plan to divorce or not. If you do decide to divorce, your future relationships will greatly benefit from an honest analysis of this one. Saying that "it's all her fault" won't cut it with most of us on here -- we all know that it really takes two people to screw up a marriage.
Also, have you read the book Divorce Remedy?
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
Thanks for the reply. Yes we have been to counseling, but it has not helped me. I understand why she did it, though I don't understand how she could lie for so long, violate what I thought was her integrity and honesty. It baffles me. That I think I can over, but just the fact of being with other men, is much more difficult for me.
