My name: GodIsLove. Call me "GIL" or "gil"- please don't call me "God" for short. LOL!)
Why am posting this? I have been around DB for a long time (under a different name). DBd like crazy but unfortunately my marriage ended in divorce (last year). I am also a Christian.
PLEASE NOTE I take DBing and filter it through a Christian world view. My heart goes out to ALL DBers regardless of race, creed, color or religion or faith. What I post is here for anyone to use some, little or none of the insights OR to ignore me altogether.
The great thing about the DB community is there has never been extended "flaming" (feuds, nastiness etc.) as there is with so many other boards. People here are hurting and want help and want to help if they can. If you disagree with my approach, there are many others on the board whom you will find more helpful to you and I truly hope your marriage is restored or that you find the peace and help you want and need somewhere on this board.
Over the years, I have seen how DBing (and the DB board) changes lives, helps to save some marriages and, equally as important, tremendously helps DBers heal when the marriage dissolves into a divorce. I owe sooo much to Michelle for her writings AND for providing this forum. My children will be healthier because of her efforts and I know that brings her satisfaction as a one that experienced the divorce of her parents as a youth.
So, even after my marriage has ended and wife is happily involved with OM and not looking back, I come back to the board from time to time to continue my healing and to share every now and again with the hope that general advice might help some others.
I was shopping at a Walmart last week and was passing by row after row of Valentine's Day stuff and found my heart sinking and purposely avoiding going anywhere near those isles. Then, I decided to force myself to walk through those isles with this mind set:
GodIsLove and He loves me!
I then began to walk through each of those isles, purposely CHOOSING to feel God's love and pondering songs of God's love and bible verses that reinforce that message of His sacrificial love for the world. BUT as I walked through those isles, I was not concerned about the world, just MY heart that was starting to hurt at the thought of my first Valentines Day apart from my (ex)wife in 18 years.
I also thought about all the friends, family and the DB community that have shown me love, care and concern which is also comforting (because that tells me I am not a total idiot ) but mostly I thought about God and His infinite mercy, grace, patience and love for me. The result: These last few days leading up to Feb 14 and to my anniversary (also in Feb) have NOT been the tortured hell I was thinking they might be prior to my Walmart revelation.
May each of you dwell and focus on the love that IS in your lives today. The unconditional love your children (if any) have for you, that of family, friends etc. But, my hope is that you also think about the love your God has for you. The following are some verses sent in an email by Rejoice Ministries specifically for the days prior to Valentines Day and I found them very comforting:
Quote:
Jeremiah 31:3 3 The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.
Psalms 147:3 3 He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.
Psalms 139:13-14 13 For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb. 14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
Plalms 33:20-22 20 Our soul waiteth for the LORD: he is our help and our shield. 21 For our heart shall rejoice in him, because we have trusted in his holy name. 22 Let thy mercy, O LORD, be upon us, according as we hope in thee.
1 chronicles 16:34 34 O give thanks unto the LORD; for he is good; for his mercy endureth for ever.
May you bask in the love you Do have, may you resist the temptation to dwell any longer than a moment on the actions of your spouse.
My name: GodIsLove. Call me "GIL" or "gil"- please don't call me "God" for short.
If you don't mind, I am going to post an excerpt from the Charlyne letter I rec'd today:
Let us pray for all the prodigal spouses around the world who have denied God yet another day. Pray that all the wayward spouses will feel the Holy Spirit conviction to call, email or communicate a note of positive communication to their faithful, loving spouse today, February 14th. Pray that the Holy Spirit will reignite and rekindle couples love in millions of marriages around the world that are hanging by a thread but are still together.
"Lord, I pray for all the prodigal spouses who have come home, but are still battling emotions, feelings or who are still seeing the other person. Lord, break all soul ties with all ungodly relationships of any kind. May you open their spiritual eyes, ears and their heart to hear and receive God's truth which will set them free from the slavery of sin. Lord, crucify their sinful nature. May this special holiday, be the day that every prodigal spouse will bend their knee humbling themselves to God asking Him to change their heart and remove all the strongholds in their life. Lord, create in them a pure heart, renew their body, soul, spirit and mind as You can erase all the thoughts of the other person from their mind by the Blood of our Lord Jesus Christ. Lord, I as a prayer warrior am standing in the gap speaking God's Word that 'no weapon forged against me or my spouse will prevail. Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world.' Thank You that You are able to do immeasurably more than all I ask or can imagine according to Your power that is at work within me. Lord, heal my marriage completely. I pray this all in the mighty Name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen."
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Amen! Never Underestimate the power of prayer. I still continue to pray for my wife that the Lord bring her to repentance. I do pray that OM comes to know the Lord and I have forgiven them both. I would be obedient to the Lord to reconcile if He wills it.
In the meantime, I am very, very busy, GALing and serving the Lord and He has blessed me with the proverbial "Peace that passes all understanding." In this trial, He has been ever so faithful to meet my needs.
My name: GodIsLove. Call me "GIL" or "gil"- please don't call me "God" for short.
Thank you for those prayers!How do I sign up for newsletters from rejoice ministries? I continue to stand in the Gap for my marriage and prayer earnestly for my husband each day. God is a God of healing and restoration. I pray for healing in these marriages, here on DB. I received a call last night from my prodigal H "I would like to come over and cook dinner for you" (for Valentines Day)I pray that God sends ministering angels and Godly men to surround him each day....I also pray for breakthrough, and that we may some day be a testimony to broken lives and marriages. To God be the Glory
Thank you for all the posting on this stitch. You remind me of another special friend I have on this board - I just love reading about him and his love for Christ. My heart does feel sad today because all i want is to be loved, but you are so right in saying we must remember what we have got and all those people who do love us unconditionaly - my children, my parents, siblings, family and especially Jesus! So thank you for reminding me all of this.
Indea, May the Lord bind the enemy this day and may He give you wisdom and a gentle spirit in your communication (verbal and nonverbal) with your H today. Amen.
mom, when they stray, it feels like they are rejecting us which is why it hurts so badly. GALing reminds us of how unique and wonderfully made we each are and how special we are in the eyes of God. DBers are loved by many for being exactly who they are. Our spouses are deceived and are looking for something (affirmation, appreciation, self worth, their youth, etc) because of dissatisfaction they can choose to address and control.
All that to say, we spouses have our share of responsibility but in the end, they have not so much rejected us but themselves. We can therefore love them with compassion and pray for them.
We must also reaffirm who we are and what is good about US is which is why GALing is so important. For those who have a faith and relationship with God, relying on the promises from Him from His Word, reminding ourselves how immeasurable is His love for us, seeking the confidential prayers and comfort of a select group of believers is foundational for our own peace that passes all understanding.
Even in the midst of this kind of trial, God can and will comfort us if we seek Him and think about what He promises and not fall solely into letting our feelings dictate our outlook. Our feelings will drag us down but counting on what is promised and what we intellectually know about Him and His love for us CAN over take our feelings.
soreheart, you've got it right, focus on those who DO love you, especially the Lord.
My name: GodIsLove. Call me "GIL" or "gil"- please don't call me "God" for short.
LOL!)
) but mostly I thought about God and His infinite mercy, grace, patience and love for me. The result: These last few days leading up to Feb 14 and to my anniversary (also in Feb) have NOT been the tortured hell I was thinking they might be prior to my Walmart revelation.