I woke up very early on Sunday morning and was trying to find something to watch. I stumbled upon a show on The Church Channel (never heard of it before). According to my provider it repeats tonight at 10:30 pm EST. The minister's name was Ed Young, it was basically a symposium format about what you have to do so you can have an affair, the crazy thinking that we all know about, the reasoning for our actions in your mind. A very interesting watch.
I promise I am not a troll. I basically lurk here because I am a very private person and my sitch is so bizarre I feel like my life is a circus freak show.
This is why A are so common nowadays. Society has made it acceptable. Makes me ill!
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
NGU - that is exactly right. It has become a HUGE societal problem and society condones it, for the most part.
I just finished reading a book called "the Monogamy Myth" wherein the writer says we have basically been conditioned to accept this type of behaviour from the time we are kids (i.e. little white lies etc.). Someone calls your house and asks for your father, father whispers in the background "tell them I'm not home" - you think its ok to be secretive, depending on what the circumstance is, after all, your father is telling you to "lie" so it must be okay right?
Then there is the exploitation of women, we don't need to get into that one
It goes on and on and then you grow up, you don't know how to deal with things, you hide them (secrets are ok right?) and it escalates
This is a very brief version of what the author is portraying but you get the idea.
However, the real bomb hits when, as much as society has condoned and encouraged A's, when they happen, no one wants to deal with them and you are an outcast (particularly the BS)
It was a very enlightening book and basically emphasizes on being honest to each other as opposed to taking a vow of monogamy. When you are honest, the monogamy rarely happens because honesty disipates the secreacy and usually the sneaking around etc. etc.
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
But what about when you're married to a really secretive type of person? My husband is naturally secretive (in fact I'm even seeing this in my son). Even his mother, who he is extremely close to, has commented in the past how he has always been a very poor communicator and private about thoughts and feelings.
Interestingly, I'm a polar opposite. I'm extremely open and communicative. And my children are polar opposites. My daughter cannot hold her thoughts or feelings in even if she wanted to, while getting information from my son (like simple details about his day!) is like digging for dinosaur bones... very arduous!!!!
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
These are things that are learned - not something that is hereditary. Your son is most likely doing it because he sees his father doing it (like father like son) - same goes for your daughters. The most influencial parent in a child's life is the same sex parent (son/father; daughter/mother)
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
