so...seems hubby is possibly in mlc. after years of not being able to keep his hands off of me....to now won't even "accidentally" touch me. for example, used to, in the bed, we would often go to sleep with something touching...hands...feet. now, if he accidentally even touches my foot in the bed, he pulls it away. before if i walked around the kitchen he would be rubbing up against me, etc. now - nothing.
had several unexplained things lately. nothing concrete, but nonetheless, weird. it's like i know SOMETHING is going on...i just can't put my finger on it. he has told me he's just not happy anymore, and he doesn't think we can get back what we had.
i have asked him if there is someone else and he says no, but my intuition keeps nagging at me...telling me otherwise. don't get me wrong, we have issues. i have issues, he has issues. but it's so weird to me that now he is so "sure" about how he feels.
a year or so ago, i had a semi-mlc and there was someone else. the reason why i say this is because i remember the thoughts and feelings i had. i was suddenly so consumed with this other person that i couldn't stand my husband. thank goodness i came to my senses.
so i guess my past has caught up with me. carma.
would you say my intuitions are right? he calls me crazy, but i just can't shake this feeling there is someone, somewhere whispering in his ear.
I was MLT/MLC, but never had anyone else (no EA or PA).
Now it appears that my W is MLC without an OP (as far as I can tell, I still wonder as it would make some sense).
Still, most often there is someone else. A little snooping can usually determine if there is (cell phone bills, computer keylogger, etc).
If you find evidence do some reading on how to handle it. Some say call them on it immediately (i.e. Dobson's Tough Love approach), others simply stop snooping that point and wait for the affair to run its course.
Personally, I would go the Tough Love route, but that is up to you if and when you are faced with that choice.
I definitely would do the tough love approach too, I wish I would have jumped on the EA sooner, then it wouldn't have turned into the PA (IMHO). I had those gut feelings for a long time and never acted on it, by the time I did, it had been going on for quite a while. - Hindsight is great isn't it?
Anyway, I know some would disagree with me, but I did the snooping to convince myself I wasn't insane more than anything. I guess it all depends on what you can handle and what you can't. Personally, I can't stand being lied to - that is worse than the A itself.
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
I am in the same situation, however my husband hasn't been interested for a very long time. Tries to blame me for becoming frigid first, but it all has to do with a feeling that something else is going on. I found a several cell phone calls to OW, but he won't admit to being other than friends. Every time I bring it up he gets very defensive and mad. We are going to counseling next week, but in the meantime I am still snooping and feel sick to my stomach 24/7. I would love to find out how to get cell phone bill, anyone know? This week I did try last resort technique of acting like nothing is wrong and it's working. He has been calling from work and acting really sweet. Maybe a confession is to come-wishful thinking I suppose.
My husband and I have been together for 17 years going on 14 married and we have three children. We separated for weeks ago after he finally confessed being in love with someone else. This woman was a friend and also going threw a bad marriage. We have had our problems, fighting, anger, rejection and he not helping out at home. He also blames me for the finance issue as well. Last year was the worst; I was depressed and wanted to leave. I slept on the couch for several weeks and he would ask me to come to bed and I just ignored him. Then I found out he was talking to this other women none stop from morning till the time he would get home. He said that he did not have Feelings for her. We went to counseling and he became distant and wanted nothing to do with it. Things did not get better but we could talk and be nice to each other. He said he didn't have feelings fro me and was in love with when the started talking again in Nov...I felt like someone ripped my heart out. He also did not have any sex for 7 month and I said was he sleeping with her, he said no I am still having problems with that. I don't believe him. My mother in law said he is going threw a mid life crisis. I am so confused on all this. If anyone can help please do. Thanks
Take a look at the Mid life crisis forum, there is lots of info to read. Also take a look at the 40/60 website, where there is also an overwhelming amount of info.
