I haven't post here for a while. And would appreciate if anyone can give me some insight. I snooped last week and found out about OW. Evidently they have been together more than six months prior to the bomb. And now have been over a year. Why can't he just be honest about it in the first place when he dropped the bomb. Our divorce will be final in 11 days, would anyone even recommend that I confront him about ow since his relationship with ow has been a secret for so long? He continues to not talk to me eventhough we live under the same roof. Why no communication? Is it because he has too much to hide?
Well PW, I think he is ashamed of what he has done and because he is living under the same roof. He still doesn't want to look like the bad one.
Mine just now admits to his other woman openly because it is over. Even though he didn't live in the same house, and even though he knows I am with someone else he still couldn't freely say her name or admit to his trips to see her. He has only just told me how he felt so ashamed and bad as a husband and man for what he has done. He kicked her out of his place and somehow I think this freed him to be okay with himself because for once he could say there is no one else and not be lying.
Your husband is still lying and he knows this and all that he has done is wrong. He is not good with himself so he can't be clean with you.
I agree that he might be ashamed, he sure knows how to hide all his feeling. Curretnly I see him withdrawing himself from his buddies. The last time they hung out was right before Christmas and they say H was pretty much quiet. Since then, they asked him to go golf but H always say tell them he is busy or tired. How can he not be tired, he spends his evening up until 2am to talk to OW, and then upon waking up, he talkes to her as well. Busy? I don't know how busy he can be when he spends all his time on his laptop, oh wait, that does make him busy. He gets about 4-5 hours of sleep everyday. He has also picked up a habit of going to the casinos with his mom. He has gone there 5 times in the past 6 weeks. Guess he is gambling his life away. Are they really that confused? Hope he remembers he still needs to pay child support.
I would not say confused. I would saying lying and cheating and knowing it is wrong. Guilt and shame can eat a person up. He may have to hit rock bottom to see the error of his ways. Sorry to say it but that's how it has to go sometimes.
You need to keep the focus on you. What are your plans and goals?
And, if he forgets about child support, then you must go after him.
Goals? Well, i don't know does it count as a goal, but here goes.
1. Find a place to move, where I can settle down with my D5 & D3 2. I'm going to learn how to play chess 3. Will be spending the rest of the year helping to plan a wedding for a friend. 4. Changing the way I look.(loss another 20lbs, letting hair grow out another 4 inches so I can perm it. I've had staright hair all my life.
I guess I just want to change. Want to get a fresh start after D. Through this last 6 months, i feel I have grown as a woman. I love him but I can't help him. I will be there to listen if he chooses to. It might sound selfish, but for now, I only want to care about me and my 2 beautiful girls.
He may have to hit rock bottom to see the error of his ways.
Unfortunatelly some guys truly have to hit rock bottom so they are forced to look at their actions. Or to truly realize seeking happiness from outside sources is not the key for long term happiness.
You keep focus on you and your girls. When does he move out? I notice you said your D is coming to a close in 11 days. Does he move out then?
******************************* Both: 33 Together 13y; Married 8y Kids: DD8 and DS5 Separated: 08/31/06 D Filed: 2/21/07
