But some of you may remember me and my sitch... I will update a little more later. Long story short is ... my cheating H came home. He is still in contact with OW ... as she is pregnant I half understand this.... But I am having issues...and it's starting mini-fights.... I know neither of us want to live like this....but we both want to make it work.... Advice please?
Sorry to hear about your sitch and would love to hear more.
But from what little you have posted it sounds like you two might need to seek professional help in oder to accept the reality of your sitch. It sounds like you want to keep your H and I can not even fathom having to go through what you are dealing with. However, if you want it to work you will have to accept the circumstances that came out of his affair and forgive him for them. You will have to realize and deal with the fact that he now has a kid with the OW..I do not really have anymore advice other than the suggestion of seeking some form of counsler to help you guys through this one.
Just my 2 cents.
Again sorry to hear about your sitch, O
Ben 32 STBXW 29 3 kids (D1,S4,SD8) (1 dog 5months) Status: Fighting for the Kids.
"The only thing we know about future developments is that they will develope."
I am glad you updated us on your situation. I often wondered how you were doing. I'm glad your H is back with you.
I think you need to seek counseling. You need to learn how to accept the fact that your H left and was with someone else. Also, that there is a baby on the way. You will never be able to forgive your H if you can't accept it. Look at it this way, he chose you and your girls. He is back with you. Don't push him away. Don't start little fights with him.
Get some help. If you had someone to talk to on a regular basis, you can vent to them and learn not to vent to your H. If you keep it up, he will leave again. Do you really want to go thru that again?
See a counselor who can help you deal with your issues. You don't even need to go as a couple at first, just go by yourself and get your feelings out.
wow Emily! your H is back! come over to piecing. Your sitch is very hard, because he now will have to have contact w/the ow, and the above posts are right, you will have to accept this sitch if you have decided to forgive your H. It is now a package deal, either you take it all or leave it. WIsh pregnantandDBing was here, she was a great lady who also took back her H after he left her prego and got ow prego. It is possible to build an M after such thing, so dont' loose heart, remind yourself why you wanted your H back. All the best to you gal.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Emily, I keep remembering the photo of your black eye H gave you. Please tell me there's no violence currently - even if OW were not pregnant (GAWD, how awful!), H would need some serious counseling for the anger and avoidance of issues he has ANYWAY. You 2 are not an island and your R will be no different w/out some SERIOUS changes and you have to have some intervention here for that to be permanent. JMO, obviously.
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Is 43:18-19
If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time. Hab 2:3
It all blew up already! Not sure what really happened. OW has an ultrasound on the 29th and H informed me that he would be leaving by then.... then he decided that he was leaving tonight.... well only to stay across town with his grandmother. I'm not sure what happened. I know that his constantly e-mailing her backforth (more than just contact about the upcoming baby) really bothered me... but it's a healing process... I am going to work on the counciling thing if only for myself.... as he is out of the picture as of now... or so it seems.
He may be back tonight..he said he didn't know... What a mess......
He got online (which I tried to prevent by changing passwords and whatnot ... maybe a bad move, but I'm tried of being the doormat)....and was talking back and forth with OW, as she was online! HUGE FIGHT! He has thrown himself like a 2 year old until I turned the computer and internet back on..... I just don't know what to do. I know I have to "trust" but at this point there is no reason to trust anything....he is using my internet to talk to the OW he JUST told me he wants to go back to.....
wow, you shouldnt' have to resort to cut internet access 4 him not to talk to her, if this is how it is now, what will the future bring you?
When he came back, did you guys lay down any boundaries? it doesn't seem like he is ready to commit to anyone, neither you, the ow, nor take a look at himself.
Beware.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
