I haven't posted on this board since April 05, not much has changed and I'm finding myself back in the same place as then. I see that Karen is also not having much luck either, I thought our situations were roughly similar and I was always interested to see what progress she had made. My observations over 2 1/2 years are as follows:
1. My wife and I share very similar outlooks on just about everything except S. Which makes things fairly smooth in day to day life, but leads to difficulties in the bedroom.
2. We are polar opposites in the S realm (a Type 7 and a Type 4). For her, it's a means to an end (get rid of that pesky once a month pelvic congestion) whereas I like the act itself as much or more as the outcome.
3. With kids and early middle age, this has become a problem.
4. This problem is not bad enough to drive us apart, but leads to my periods of irritability and dissatisfaction with the overall relationship. This is proportional to how long we go without S and the quality of it when it happens, and to some degree how distracted I am with other things or stressed out.
5. There is no solution to the disconnect, only:
Endless neurotic introspection. Millions of column-inches of text spewed on the Web, some added by myself.
Questionable self-help advice:
a. Ultimatums (give me S or I'm out here) = I'm out of there. b. Talk = Clinton-esque avoidance by wife of the actual subject being discussed by me. c. Giving W more free time = more time for my wife to surf the Web
Dead-end coping strategies. See introspection.
Seems like if the better half doesn't share your outlook on the frequency of S, you are pretty much out of luck. I'd like to think otherwise but I'm not seeing anything that gives me hope.
Stu 18 months ago my wife and I were seperated and had decided to try again. My wife was repulsed by the idea of being sexually intimate with me. The very idea of me caressing her breasts made her completely uncomfortable, not even me doing it but just the thought.
Nice! Glad you were able to get back in the swing. My situation is less extreme, but wears on me. I haven't found anything that works consistently, that is what frustrates me the most. I was successful last night so I'm in a much better frame of mind, but the upshot is "it's always something".
