I sat down and came up with "replacement thoughts"...things I want in my R that make me feel better, and when I start thinking about my H with OW, I stop the bad thought and replace it with one of my choosing. Sometimes I have to do it out loud. Often, I have to repeat the new thought over and over. More often than not, I am able to get my mind off the bad stuff and into a better place.
Some days take a lot more effort than others. But I'm winning the battle.
I don't think that there is anything you can do to completely keep them away. Over time they will become less frequent...but for now just try to keep your self occupied.
I posted this on the newcomers I probably should have here.
I'm feeling lost today. Wednesdays are very difficult for me. I found out that my W was putting our son in Mothers day out program and having lunches(hope that is all) w/OM. We had our last big blow up on a Wednesday that I went home to confront her about it, of course she wasn't home and she was with him. He's married and supposedly is leaving is family as well. My therapist called today to say he couldn't meet because he was sick. We were suppose to go together. He said he called her but had to leave a message. I wonder why? It gets me very depressed.
I have no advice to help with the bad thoughts, but I have learned that the more you know, the more you snoop, the more you imagine is the more bad the thoughts become and the harder they become to handle. The less you know the easier it is to handle those thoughts.
Quote: I have no advice to help with the bad thoughts, but I have learned that the more you know, the more you snoop, the more you imagine is the more bad the thoughts become and the harder they become to handle. The less you know the easier it is to handle those thoughts.
I think that is true. Today I was given new information and now my mind is racing. It's best to know very little...details aren't really important.
