My wife is a beautiful woman but her sex drive is out of sync with mine. She wants sex as soon as I get home or after she has a few beers. That may seem OK for most however there is more.
By the time I get home she has had three or four beers (usually every night) and I'm just kind of exhausted. Also, I'm in the middle of a small lawsuit but nothing like her ex-husband. He is a doctor in the same small town. He hasn't filed a tax return since 2001 and he doesn't pay his child support for his three kids. My wife's oldest son is getting ready to go to college and I don't want to pay for it and I just found out that she has run up an additional $4000 on credit cards this Christmas. I'm having some financial stress issues. Now...she wants sex after she has been drinking (and she drinks a lot ie 20 beers in 2 days last week) and I just don't feel like it. We are out of sync.
I temporarily moved to my lake house last Thursday and when I came back Friday morning she said she was going to move out next Thursday because I don't find her physically attractive. That is not the case.
We have had our ups and downs these last few months I even have a "coach" (Chuck) that I have a scheduled phone call for this Friday.
The sex issue I think is just stress because we made love a couple times two weeks ago. Her drinking is also turning me off. Additionally, she plays video games for 3-4 hours every night. I'm just living alone and not feeling in the mood. It's the strangest thing.....Suggestions
sorry about the rambling in the previous post. My brain is all over the place because I don't know what to do. I'm the only one willing to see a counselor (been seeing a counselor for a year) and am at wits end.
Before losing hope, I'd talk with your DB coach on Friday and see what he has to say. It sounds to me like there is a lot more going on in your household than just lack of sex. I'd also take a look into Alanon if I were you.
Hang in there. I'm sure there will be more people making comments to your thread. People around these parts tend to post during the day, and activity drops off at night.
What does the counselor you've been seeing say about your sitch?
Went to see my counselor last night. We discussed some things. There are trust issues.....her continuing to run up credit card debt and hide credit cards and accusing me of having an affair (when I'm not). It's silly.
Stopped by the house this morning. I told her we both need to go to marriage counseling to save this marriage. She said nothing. Not one word. I saw some real estate books on the kitchen table. I don't know if she is planning to buy a house and how (that really isn't my concern).
Getting back to my counselor. She believes I have gone as far as I can with counseling alone. We need to do something different. She recommended to be firm with her and leave her alone and get on with my life and get healthy and she may come around. If not....well.....we'll see
OMG, I could be your wife. I constantly feel like it and fancy my hubby sooo much that I would be at him all the time if he was up for it.
We have just reconciled (3 months) after living apart for almost two years, and I'm starting to feel the rejection again and wondering if we have done the right thing.
I too feel hornier when I drink, but it also helps to deal with the rejection (which is generally forthcoming).
When we lived apart I'd have a glass of wine when I went out with friends, when we live together I could have a bottle every night. It helps me to try to initiate sex, which I find difficult because of the rejection, and to get to sleep when I'm rejected and frustrated.
Since I came back I haven't drank so much, but it is difficult to get into bed every night and lie apart and to feel so uncomfortable.
If your wife is like me she may be playing games to avoid the contact with you which she would find uncomfortable and frustrating.
I too feel that my husband does not find me attractive and I want to be more than the housekeeper.
She is obviously turning you off with her drinking etc, what could she do to improve the situation?
To look at things from a different perspective the credit cards/debts could be attention seeking or being used as a substitution for her desire.
