my other posts are titled under what is the difference btw mlc & infidelity, now I know for my H it is both w/ mlc being the first and until recently I found proof of his EA turning to PA. You guys tell me- I found his "wife beater shirt" full of where he must of wiped his cum w/ & his work shirt w/ a little lipstick stain? Cat says he could of pleasured himself. Question- How much shold I distance myself? Should I not give him a kiss goodbye in the mornings and kisss hello at nite? Big question- should I not iniate sex? H has not admitted to anything but just freindship, how do I request H wear a condom w/ me?
Say he was pleasuring himself - where does the lipstick come into play?
Tell him what you found and that if he plans on being intimate with you he needs to be honest about everything and that you're not doing anything with him until he is.
....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...
Everyone advice to me lately has been to act as if I do not know anything is wrong and be all so sweet to lure him back. H is already angry when I go thru his things and has threatened to move me out of our room into the extra room where he was sleeping since it has no door to lock me out for his privacy. H has not mentioned anymore talk of filing for the big D. My sweetness does seem to work and it seems to keep him at home most of the time. I am afraid if I tell him what I found all hell will break loose!
I did not read all of your posts, but I gather you were the cheating spouse. can u answer some questions for me please? My H is cheating w/ an ex co-worker, it was an EA for a couple of years until recently PA. Since he got to be so close w/ the EA ( he has never really opened up to me about any of his feelings) what r the chances he will decide to leave her? What made you feel remorse? Or is it just a selfish phase his in? H did say he was tired of everything, mrtgage(always behind), 3 kids, just wants to be alone. What was your turning point to make u return to your H?
Quote: I did not read all of your posts, but I gather you were the cheating spouse. can u answer some questions for me please? My H is cheating w/ an ex co-worker, it was an EA for a couple of years until recently PA. Since he got to be so close w/ the EA ( he has never really opened up to me about any of his feelings) what r the chances he will decide to leave her? What made you feel remorse? Or is it just a selfish phase his in? H did say he was tired of everything, mrtgage(always behind), 3 kids, just wants to be alone. What was your turning point to make u return to your H?
I felt sick even when I did it. I should have stopped and not done it to begin with but I can't take it back. I realized what I did was wrong and stopped it. My H doesn't think I have, doesn't think I'd want him if the OM was available - which is not true. I've told him I only want him, but naturally he doesn't believe me right now.
My H has said that he is tired of the mortgage, being responsible to someone, etc. and needs his space so he moved out on New Year's Day.
....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...
I wonder if my H feels any guilt cuz I just can't tell, only that he tosses and turns all night long, could that be guilt? Did you "project" your infidelity on him? I mean sometimes my H accuses me of having a boyfreind, especially if I have plans and go out and leave him to watch the kids ( rarely happens). The last time I went out, he tore up all the letters and poems I had given him that nite and will punish me by also going out, but will take the girls to see her! I can most likely pinpoint the exact nite he first slept w/her and that nite he kept on getting up to the kitchen and kept looking in our bedroom (this was when he was sleeping in other room).
Quote: I wonder if my H feels any guilt cuz I just can't tell, only that he tosses and turns all night long, could that be guilt? Did you "project" your infidelity on him? I mean sometimes my H accuses me of having a boyfreind, especially if I have plans and go out and leave him to watch the kids ( rarely happens). The last time I went out, he tore up all the letters and poems I had given him that nite and will punish me by also going out, but will take the girls to see her! I can most likely pinpoint the exact nite he first slept w/her and that nite he kept on getting up to the kitchen and kept looking in our bedroom (this was when he was sleeping in other room).
Mine was a one time thing. Still wrong but I didn't have an ongoing relationship with the OM. We talked at work, but not an ongoing physical relationship.
I probably did accuse him lately because he was "thinking" which involved staying out till all hours of the night and clear into the next morning, past sun up most days. While I know he wasn't cheating on me, I have to wonder what they were doing. I know if he was cheating or had, he would want me to know because he wants me to know the hurt he's feeling.
His tossing and turning could be guilt. Probably him checking on you could be as well.
My H thinks that because OM is unavailable that that's the only reason I want to make US work, which isn't the case. But I don't know how to show him that.
....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...
Why is the OM unavailable? Is he not still working w/you? So, you two wouldn't go out to lunch together? My H & her did and now that she isn't working w/ him, they still do go out to lunch together!
We didn't do lunches - mainly talked via IM or phone @ work. OM is also M, but I am disgusted by him and it has nothing to do with whether or not he's available. He's a reminder of a stupid bad choice I made.
....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...
