mrs.h- counseling for D13 is probably a good idea. i think she is not only concerned about what the future holds for h & myself; but, she is probably a little sad over the loss of something special. unfortunately, D13 has seen me at just about my worst through all of this w/ my h...i'm sure that has alot to do w/ how she is feeling right now. i will continue to talk w/ her (as always) and hopefully h will do the things he says he is willing to do.he has to prove himself as much to her as to me.
h definitely has to prove himself right now...i guess time will tell. A dear friend made me promise not to settle...i don't break my promises....I WILL NOT SETTLE. i know what i want/expect from h...MLC or not that is what i want.
as for you, i hope one day you find the love that you so truly deserve. i've read your recent posts....you can & will love again. I hope w/ all my heart you find the woman who is able to give you everything your heart desires. you are a strong Christian man...just let God direct your paths and take one day at a time. thank you for all your support & kind words...you will never know how much they mean to me. you have helped me grow in so many ways.
isn't it funny how just when we think we have our lives figured out....God throws us a curve ball.
FYI: i meant to add in my earlier post...many of you are aware of the fact that not only have i been dealing w/ the separation from my h but also my mother's illness....we were told Mon. Mom will probably be w/ us until the early part of Feb. i am asking that you pray not just for my mother and her journey but for my father....he has been by her side almost constantly...he needs your strength.
Thanks, GB....glad to hear from you....right now i am trying to sort through all the emotions of piecing together.....MAINLY coming to terms w/ the having to let go of something special.
you know, for so long i knew what i wanted....now i'm not so sure, i just know what my expectations are....wondering if i set them too high. i feel because of my Christian beliefs and my marriage vows that i have to do this....i have to try to be the wife God intended me to be. will i be successful? i do not know....don't know if i can be anymore...at this point, all i can do is try.
Quote: i just know what my expectations are....wondering if i set them too high.
How could this even be?
Sounds suspiciously like someone who's planning to settle at some point...don't you dare.
So many of us who have lived through unhappy times seem to develop this problem with self-esteem and whether or not we deserve the life that we know inside we want. One of the benefits of this place right here is that we hear from lots of experienced people that we deserve to be happy, we deserve to be fulfilled, we deserve to be loved properly. We get a life so that we can begin to appreciate ourselves and begin believing that we deserve the best life has to offer. We detach so we stop being affected by the poor way that we have been treated.
I know that this strong, confident, self-assured southern girl that I've gotten to know would never allow herself to be talked in to taking less than what she knows she could have. Not the person I've gotten to know at least.
Really Deb...
Life is hard. No question about it. You've got a chance right now to set the stage for the rest of your life. THIS IS YOUR INTERMISSION! This is where you get to make adjustments, smooth off rough edges, regain your balance. Soon enough the second half is going to start. Are you going to go for the gusto? Are you going to take the WONDERFUL second half that God has planned for you? Or are you going to settle for something that is ok?
I know you better than that. You want God's AMAZING second half.
I'm watching...
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
you are right, as always...i promised someone i would not settle, remember? I WILL NOT SETTLE....ALL OR NOTHING and i am finally prepared for that.
right now i am dealing w/ the pain of losing something special and trying to move forward....wondering what i could/should have done differently...wanting to make sure i do what is right.
i DO want God's amazing second half...just taking life one day at a time.
Ok then, I feel better now....you're slowly convincing me.
And my guess is you did exactly what you needed to do. I've come to see you as someone who is pretty good at making the right decisions. Trust yourself a little bit.
Well, I'm going to do what you probably need to do. Go to bed. Stay strong southern girl. I'm sorry you sound so down when actually things are looking up for you.
You know I wish you the best always. That's all I've ever wished for you.
Night,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
man, what a week! i am so tired from lack of sleep...still so much to sort out in my head. i should be elated that h is wanting to work at a reconciliation;but, in truth, i have lots of questions....such as why now? what changed? i had finally come to terms that h & i were going to go our separate ways...was looking forward to a new future w/ lots of promise. had even made plans for a trip out 0f town this weekend. funny how things change.
i wish i could feel the excitement that i would have felt a month or so ago. h is saying all the right things and acts as if he really loves me & wants to work things out. i'm just not sure i'm ready to open my heart again....so scared of getting hurt, again. so many people have cautioned me about the possibility that he hasn't changed...i guess it's a matter of taking one day at a time. he's talking the talk but can he walk the walk.
Deb, looks like you are doing well. My sit. is bad. Looks like d. is very likely. W. says she will hire lawyer next week and file. I am sad, check my thread.
