Help with Trusting Again

[Heywyre]

Can anyone tell me what I can do (while I am waiting for my local library to get in the books for me) to deal with the whole issue of trust.

I am finding this the most difficult thing to deal with. My H had 2 A's (one in 2002 and another one in 2006). After the first one, I thought I was doing ok. But now, after this second one I just don't even know where to begin. I know it will take time, but I need to know what I can do to help it along - I feel so lost

Please help - anyone?????

[Looking_for_hope]

Trust.....its a scary subject. Its always been a hard thing for me to do and has caused me some tense moments to be certain.
Putting your trust in someone leaves you open to being hurt again, leaves you feeling vulnerable. I understand how you feel and think on this completely. How do you trust someone who has let you down in the past? Honestly, I struggle with this very subject, I have no answer for you other than pray, counsel and talk with your preacher. Most ministries have someone that councels and are trained to help guide you. See if your church has someone like this or if they know of someone who you can talk to. Alot of times just talking about these issues helps open our eyes to possibilites we have yet to see and eases the burden we currently carry.
Trust in God first, learn to trust yourself, and in time we may learn to trust others.

[Heywyre]

I am trying so hard but I don't know if I can do it again (this is the second A H has had) - the pain is almost too much to bear at times.

I know they say God never gives you more than you can handle but I'd like to know what I did to deserve this test?

[superstressed]

Heywyre,

I wish I knew what to tell you. Trusting my H is something I struggle with every day as he also had 2 As.

Over the past few days I've been doing some deep soul searching and have decided that I'm going to start living my life by my rules and not worry what my H is doing. In the past I always consulted him before I made plans even though he never did. I think maybe our Hs need to be a little less confident that we will always be around to forgive and take them back.

I'm not sure if that's any help. I just wanted to let you know I understand just how you feel.


SuperStressed

[Heywyre]

Thanks SS

It's a tough road isn't it? So you know what its like to go through it twice too eh? Are we suckers for punishment or what? I sure hope there is something worth waiting for at the end of the tunnel, after all this hell we've gone through

I don't even get any intimacy - although he didn't have any problem giving it to someone else. His excuse? He thinks of it as dirty and he respects me too much. He says he can't link love and sex together (thus the escort services of two women over the past 4 years - both long term roughly 10 months each) and yes, I got tested the first time and so did he. That was one of the first things I got him to do. This time around it's only him because we haven't ML in years - at least 3